In today’s episode, we cover influence with Professor Vanessa Bohns. Vanessa is a social psychologist, an award-winning researcher and teacher, and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University.   We all have the ability to influence those around us to some degree, so what can you do to understand your influence, grow your influence, and use your influence to help you achieve your goals?    What to Listen For Intro and Vanessa’s origin story – 0:00 What do many of us get wrong about our influence over others, the perception others have of us, and how much other people actually like us? Why do we always feel like everyone is watching when we feel embarrassed? What is the spotlight effect?   How to start recognizing your influence – 13:34 What can you do to overcome the limiting beliefs you might have about how much influence you actually have? What can you do as an introvert to feel confident and comfortable in situations where you know it’s going to be uncomfortable?   Being more genuine during the chaos of cancel culture  – 24:30  What can we do to be more comfortable being genuine when people are scared to say the wrong thing? What can we do to counter those who want to use their power and influence against us if we are trying to be more open and trusting of others? What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection?   Learning to say no – 36:16  How do you learn to say no to someone who is in a position of power or authority over you?    Our common misconceptions about influence – 44:25  Why and how do we underestimate the compounding effect of our individual influence outside of the people we interact with directly? How do we view our influence compared to how our influence actually works on people around us?    We often underestimate the impact we have on the people around us because of our misconceptions about how influence works. We get caught up in thinking influence is our ability to directly influence a person’s actions with our words, but in reality we influence the people around us in small amounts over extended periods of time.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns Vannesa Bohns’s website Vanessa Bohns on Twitter The invisibility cloak illusion: People (incorrectly) believe they observe others more than others observe them   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover anger management with Dr. Isabelle Leboeuf and Chris Fraser. Dr. Leboeuf integrates hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and compassion-focused therapy in her private practice in the North of France. Chris has been helping children, individuals, and families to be the best versions of themselves for over 25 years, and co-authored the book Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life.   Anger is an emotion we all experience throughout life, but how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world, so what even is anger, how should we look at it, and what are some healthy strategies for dealing with intense emotions like anger?    What to Listen For Relationship between self-compassion and anger – 2:06 Is there a difference between the anger we feel toward others versus the anger we feel toward ourselves?   Healthy strategies to process and work through anger – 11:00 What exercises should you use to work through anger and what should you avoid doing when you’re angry? What is the difference between compassion and self-compassion? What three words can you tell yourself to alleviate strong feelings of anger or frustration you’re experiencing?   Is self-compassion just being easy on yourself?  – 20:25  What are the three components of self-compassion?    Defining and discovering core values – 29:00  How can you use negative and positive emotions to help you figure out what your core values are?   Learning from compassion-focused therapy – 35:18  What can you learn from compassion-focused therapy to equip you with the tools to better handle intense emotional states so you don’t do something in the moment that you’ll regret?   A full human life is arguably one in which you experience the entire spectrum of human emotions, positive and negative. Negative in this case can be interpreted as the opposite of what we think of as positive emotions, but it doesn’t mean a negative emotion is bad or should be avoided. As a society, we generally look down on or seek to avoid negative emotions such as anger and frustration, which can then lead us to not teach kids how to properly manage their anger. And a lack of anger management within an entire population will spell disaster for an entire generation that is not equipped to process and deal with their emotions in a healthy manner.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life by Chris Fraser Dr. Isabelle’s website Compassionate Mind Collaborative website   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover focus and attention with Dr. Amishi Jha. Dr. Amishi Jha received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and is the Cofounder and Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative.   It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter every year, but are they really, what can we do to improve our ability to focus, and how do we deal with the countless entities always clawing for our attention everywhere we look?     What to Listen For Introduction and Dr. Amishi’s origin story – 9:00 How does meditation better equip us to deal with everything that is fighting for our attention in daily life?   What is attention and why should we care? – 19:24 What are the three components of attention and how do mindfulness practices influence our ability to pay attention? What mindfulness exercise can you start doing now to begin seeing the benefits of meditation? Are our attention spans actually getting shorter? How do we use our brain to combat our own lack of attention or focus?   The Finder Flashlight Practice for developing focus  – 31:20  What can you do to help your children learn to pay attention and focus? What advantages do people with ADD/ADHD have that people without it don’t have?   Improving focus while living under a lot of stress  – 48:50  What 12-minute exercise can you do on a daily basis to boost your ability to focus, even in high stress, high demand situations and environments?   Our ability to focus on something for an extended period of time is one of the significant differences between humans and other animals. However, like other animals we can easily be distracted and lose that focus. So what can we do in today’s world where everything in our daily lives is fighting for our attention? We can start by meditating (or implementing a similarly effective mindfulness practice) that can help us cultivate a sense of awareness that isn’t so reactive and easily distracted.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Dr. Amishi’s website Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day How to Tame Your Wandering Mind (TED Talk by Dr. Amishi) Dr. Amishi on Twitter   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.    Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets?     What to Listen For Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00 What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network? What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity?   Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50 What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it?  When and where should you avoid networking? Why is networking about more than just career development?   Social capital and networking  – 21:15  What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively? What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking?   Effective networking in the digital era  – 34:50  What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to? Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking? What is the best way to introduce two people in your network? What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)?   Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations.    A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty (HBS Article) Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips (AOC Podcast Episode)   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance and burnout with Carey Nieuwhof. Carey is the author of the best selling “Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences” and the host of one of our favorite podcasts, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.   Introduction With all of the pressure to increase output and creativity these days, burn out is a real threat, so what are the warning signs you’re entering a dangerous burn out cycle, how can you avoid it, and how can you improve your skill set without risking burn out?     What to Listen For Introduction and Carey’s history with burnout – 2:00 How do you manage the risks of burnout when building a business or focusing on your career?     What does it mean to be at your best? – 14:10 What is one of the biggest myths about building a fulfilling career and life? What forms does burnout take and how can you recognize when you need help?   The stress spiral and how to avoid it  – 25:09  What are the warning signs you are stuck in the destructive stress spiral? What are the three types of energy zones we all have in a day and how do you identify them so you know when to do your best work and when to avoid doing work?   Always be working on your gifts and skills  – 43:45  How do world-class performers work to improve their talents and abilities? What do many of us allow our lives to be filled with that we should be saying no to? What exercise can you use to easily structure your week ahead of time so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or burned out? Why should you set goals for yourself if you want to learn how to start saying no effortlessly?   If you are feeling burnt out at work, it might have less to do with how much you’re working and more to do with when you’re trying to work. It has been shown that humans have a specific window of peak energy during the day, and if you try to push yourself too far outside of that window, the effects can be detrimental to your productivity as well as your physical and mental health. By structuring your day around your individual peak window, you can revitalize your passion and productivity while easily saying no to work and appointments that don’t serve you.   A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!   Resources from this Episode At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor by Carey Nieuwhof Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences by Carey Nieuwhof The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.