Page 7

Jackie and MJ are BACK with some slippy sloppin' Second Helpins as they start it RIGHT OFF with the fact that Jim Thornton really did do what he did. On a plane. Meghan Markle and Harry are COOOOOMIN' HOOOME to the UK because NO ONE WANTS 'EM IN AMERICA! Then we got some announcements regardin' a new hour of Page 7! Nikolas Sparks and M. Night Shyamalan have teamed up to create a book, AND movie. It was family day on the newest episode of 'Nation's Dumbest' and Jackie can't deny the Baldwin charms. Then Hilaria decided to make the announcement of the newest cast of 'Dancing With the Stars' aaaaall about her, Kylie Kelce basically let everyone know that she's raising 4 girls and 1 husband, and Jason Kelce proved he's a big ol' dumdum with his remarks about paternity leave. 'Lets Marry Harry' appears to be a master class in poor decisions while deep in grief. The first half of the newest season of 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' has dropped! 'Monster's of God' is still upsetting! 'Buddy' has got parents UPSET, but Coyote vs ACME is amazing! Then we got a VERY SPOILER HEAVY talk of 'Obsession'., including the issues happenin' with Halloween Horror Nights. And MJ got tickets to finally share the same air as Clay Aiken! PLUS SO MUCH MORE!!!!

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It's a solemn week here at Page 7 as Natalie Jean joins us to process the tragedy that was 'Gay 9/11' aka Dolly Parton and Tim Curry sadly passing on the same day. Never Forget. BUT IN LIGHTER NEWS, Carrie Underwood has fully embraced 'guy who punches holes in drywall' as her new personality type after performing many a Nu-Metal classic at the Velocity Festival in Dyersville, Iowa at none other than THE FIELD OF DREAMS. Then Jackie and Natalie regale all with tales of 'The Emerald Isle' and all the little scumbags and little scrotes that fester uponst it! Miley Cyrus dropped the 'Cyrus' from her name AND dropped a new single, with her album coming this month. Then it's time for a very special LIST dedicated to the memory of the very special Dolly Parton! Followed by PIPPIN' HAWT BLINDZ so juicy they'll....get juice in ya eye! Next we got an INTERNATIONAL JACKIE'S SNACKIE'S @ 1:15:39.419 ! But it's NOT from the country ya'd think! Lastly it's a SPEECY SPICY MJ's Minute Munchie @ 1:22:55.271 all the way until @ 1:26:55.928, PLUS SO MUCH MOOOOOOOOORE!!!

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No one can ever take it from Tyra Cronenberg Banks that she DID write this.

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We know we're all really watching it for Larry Miller.

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Jackie and MJ are BACK for a SECOND (and final!) HELPING of Liza Minnelli's book "Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!"

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