Page 7

Here on 'Dark Sided we got an episode to give ya THE CREEPS just in time for Friday the 13th, including A WORMTIME into the Thomas Markle Sr. (Meghan Markle's estranged father) accusations, his most recent crime, and what Meghan has had to say about the disgusting news. Professional wasteoid and useless husk Russell Brand has been found GUILTY!!! and sentenced to 10.5 years in jail :tada: and in MORE good news, people are buzzin' how that does NOT bode well for them grotesque Tate brothers. The Cybertruck got it's death sentence, Lori Huang should take Jensen Huang to the fucking cleaners after it was revealed the POS Nvidia CEO was havin' an affair with a suspected Chinese spy. Then in much lighter news! While the wicker dicker might have been left at home, Jackie's got some special basket fuckin' news to share with one and all! Sadly Kara's too Connecticut for wicker, but she did just watch Lisa Barlow preppin' for her operatic debut and Ramona s just a classicist stupid bitch. Then we're GETTIN' COMMITTED to watchin' 'The Golden Life', and to finish it all out we got a voicemail and email from some BITCHlings who need to know 'WHO'S THE BITCH'?
Our voicemail this week comes from a bitchling who wants to know if they're THE BITCH for callin' out and blocking a friend after being asked to not come to an annual friends holiday party because their ex would be there?
Our email this week comes from a bitchling who wants to know 'What if I don't support a man's right to be dumb?' as they do NOT want to set their male friend up with any of their female friends.

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This week on 'Second Helpings' we're focusing our rage from the SKIMs SCAMendar on a recap of all the shitheads on the 'Love is Blind' Boston reunion, because it turns out yachty dude chillin' on his boat is really the best of the bunch. And that includes the gross 'boys will be boys' excusin' father that stuck his nose in. Everyone on the special is just barely holdin' it together as it's been a ride, a bit of a Garfield's Nightmare ride, if you will. Kelly Bishop from Gilmore Girls announced her debut novel and here's hopin' it's got oldies FUCKIN'! Michelle Obama is comin' out with a second season of her reality show 'Later Daters' and it's FILLED with thirsty celebs! Mariah Carey has been unthawed and is still shakin' the ice off with champagne, but its got people wonderin' 'what's goin' on?' with these new videos of her shufflin' abouts the town. 'The Golden Life' has been everything you could ever hope it could be. Scorsese walked away from 'SCTV' doc, so Jimmy Kimmel stepped in and obvz everyone is in tears from this doc. James Gunn was ousted as the head of DC studios and it's got errrrybody shocked, MJ's plannin' to finish watchin' the Netflix documentary 'The One About Matthew Perry', FINDING MR. CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELED and now we will never find Mr Christmas, but we're gonna find ourselves a pirate Santa! MJ and Jackie are about to THROW THE FUCK DOWN when it comes to Halloween vs Christmas baking shows, anti-cat activist MJ wants Prue back on 'The Great British Bake Off', and SO MUCH MOOOORE!!!

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This week on Page 7 everyone's favorite sad boi Seena Ghaznavi stops by to discuss the SKIMs advent calendar DRAAAMMAAA that's causin' Jackie to have flashbacks to the Gilmore Girls advent scamendar she bought online last year, but at least Kimberly is refunding people. Speakin' of colon colored items, the latest ACOTAR book has Jackie RAGIN' in her diapies, and Martha Stewart FINALLY apologiez...by throwing someone else under the bus. Seena has got THOUGHTS after seein' too much in 'You Can See Everything', and in great news JEN AND ZAC AFFLECK ARE GETTING DIVORCED 🎉 and she's comin' out with them RECEIPTS. Then we got A LIST with 'An Actor Whose Husband Allegedly Left Her Because She Got A Mastectomy, And 16 More Heartbreaking Reasons Celebrities’ Relationships Ended' followed by BLINDz, and SO MUCH MOOOORE!!!!!

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Jackie and Kara have unthawed from the witching hour, much like Mariah Carey, and are here to recap all the Holidaaazzee drama including that fact that Martha Stewart finally apologized for her Halloween costume!...sort of. Then Kara's got the lowdown on the reboot of RHONY that's been droppin', Michael Douglas just had to open his big ol' mouth while on the The Graham Norton Show with Glenn Close and Cher's only response was she adores him, Kara actually really enjoyed 'All's Fair'. The JoBros let us all know they're livin' every fanfic from 2010. Kara's here to be the horny police when it comes to Jackie's feelings on 'Wicker' in 4D, and the gynos are rushin' to tiktok to let eeerybody know: baskets don't go in there, PEOPLE. Then they 'Swiped Right On The Devil' and spoilers abound! Finally, we got a new segment called 'WHEEL OF FORCED TAAAAAKES!!!!'

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This Second Helpings is all about the HORRORS OF REALITY after the dismal Disney Dancing With The Stars week and WHAT HAPPENED on Love Is Blind, because imagine what's happen when they're NOT in public. MJ's divin' headfirst into the lore of DWTS after THE SLAP reference, we got a special guest in studio who can't keep their creaks to their self. The dudes of 'Love Is Blind' just keep disappointing as Rob has an absolutely batshit meltdown on the first night in his new life with his supposed new love. Jessica Alba is under fire for dressing up as Nancy Kerrigan after gettin' her knee busted, Jackie started 'Camp Crystal Lake' and absolutely loves it but is refuuuuusin' to watch 'Carrie' 'cause she needs to look STINKIER, and so much moooooore!!

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