Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Father's Day approaches, Josh also offers some downloads for Dads!
In this episode, we discuss:
How common is it for one person in a partnership or marriage to feel as if the parenting load is uneven?
How can we influence the relationship to invite our partners into a more balanced dynamic?
What are the common reasons partners step back instead of stepping in? 
What are some signs that maybe criticism—even subtle—is affecting our partner’s willingness to engage?
What do you mean by “lowering the barrier to involvement?”
How can we offer specific, doable examples to our partners without “telling them what to do?”
What scripts can we use, or what language, to invite partnership?
For parents/caregivers raising challenging kids who require a LOT of time, energy, emotional investment, etc., what are some helpful ways to stay emotionally connected and protect their marriage or partnership?
If a listener wants to take what they’ve learned here and invite their partner in to share the parenting load, what are one or two first steps to try? 
Resources:
Celebrating & Supporting Men in Foster & Kinship Care
Josh Davis, PhD  - www.joshdavisphd.com/www.joshdavisphd.com and www.nlpfordads.com 
Why Mentors are Crucial When Raising Relative Kids
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: Our daughter is 11 months old and was adopted through an open adoption. We have a relationship with her birth mother, but don't yet feel it's the right moment to ask about family history, and her birth father is completely unknown to us. We do know that both birth parents are Hispanic, but beyond that, we have no additional information about her heritage or background. We want her to grow up with as rich a sense of her identity and heritage as possible. What guidance do adoption professionals offer around using genetic testing like 23andMe or AncestryDNA for adoptees? Is there an age-appropriate time to do this, or is it better to wait and let her decide for herself when she's older? Are there any other considerations unique to the adoptee experience we should keep in mind?
Resources:
Genetic Testing for Adoptees: Key Considerations and Benefits
Genetic Testing for Adoptees - Is It Worth It?
Genetic Testing and Genealogy for Adoptees
Listen here to learn more about our Executive Director, Linda Fiore
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
We talk a lot about the child’s experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child’s birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.
In this episode, we discuss:
What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of how a parent finds themselves connecting with the child welfare system?
What rights do birth parents have within the system?
What are some of the challenges families face before the child is taken into custody?
What are some of the challenges that they face once the child is in foster care?
How can you become an ally to the child’s parents?
How does poverty factor in?
Who most commonly reports birth parents to child welfare?
How does race factor in?
Research in the area of working memory on parental decision-making.
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: We’re new foster parents and have noticed that our child is hiding food in their backpack, closet, and even under the bed. We make sure there’s always plenty to eat, so we’re confused and a little concerned. Is this something we should be worried about? Why might they be doing this, and how should we respond in a way that helps them feel safe?
Resources:
Practical Solutions to Typical Food Issues with Adopted, Foster, & Kinship Kids
Physical and Emotional Health Issues Common with Foster Kids
Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving That 1st Year
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Raising kids while caring for aging parents is more common than ever—and often overwhelming. We talk with Robyn Wind, the GRAND Voices Support Coordinator for the National Center on Grandfamilies at Generations United, about the realities of sandwich generation caregiving and practical ways foster, adoptive, and kinship families can find support. 
In this episode, we discuss:
Can we start with a working definition of the term “sandwich generation”?
How have you seen that definition evolve in recent years? 
From your work with the National Center on Grandfamilies and Generations United, what are you seeing right now that suggests this is becoming a bigger issue? 
What are the most common pressures you hear caregivers talk about?
Where do you see caregivers feeling the most “pulled apart” between generations for whom they are caring? What are the moments when they feel like they can’t meet everyone’s needs at once?
Are there differences in how this shows up for: Parents of young children vs. teens? 
Kinship caregivers or grandparents raising grandchildren? 

Many of our listeners are already parenting children with trauma or complex needs. How does that layer onto sandwich caregiving? 
Do you see unique challenges for kinship caregivers who may already be caring for grandchildren and are now also caring for aging spouses or siblings? 
What are some ways systems unintentionally fail these families? Where do they tend to fall through the cracks? 
What would better support look like if systems were truly designed for multigenerational families? 
What are the early signs that a caregiver is stretched too thin and at risk?
What does realistic self-care actually look like in this season of life? 
How do you advise the caregivers you support to balance guilt or feelings of inadequacy, given that there is SO much need on both sides of their sandwich?
What supports should caregivers try to put in place early? 
How can families share this sandwich-caring experience more effectively, instead of having one person carry it all? 
What resources or programs from Generations United should caregivers know about? 
What strengths do you see in sandwich generation families that we don’t talk about enough? 
Resources:
'Sandwich generation' caregivers caught between two generations in need
Caring for Those Who Are Caring for Everyone: The Sandwich Generation 
Generations United
Grandfamilies.org
GKSNetwork.org
Grandfamilies & Kinship University - Generations United
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building