What To Do When Your Childhood Trauma Is Hijacking Your Relationship
Shownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up The importance of loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways Bio Shay Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational transformation, and spiritual embodiment. Her work blends somatic awareness, inner child healing, and grounded spiritual insight to guide millions through the landscapes of heartbreak, love, and personal rebirth. With a writing style that is both poetic and piercingly clear, Shay weaves personal storytelling with practical tools to offer readers a deeply human, emotionally resonant experience. Her words are a balm for those who have been lost in self-abandonment, teaching them how to come home to themselves with compassion and truth. Having grown up in foster care and overcome cycles of abuse, addiction, and heartbreak, Shay's teachings are not theoretical – they are lived. Through Rising Woman, she has helped millions remember that healing is not about becoming someone else, but about reclaiming the love, power, and wholeness that was always theirs. Learn more about Shay's work on the Rising Woman website and follow her on Instagram @sheleanaaiyana Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:00:59 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:02:29 - Guest introduction 00:04:39 - How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships 00:07:30 - Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound 00:09:26 - How raising a child has helped Shay recognize adult attachment behaviors 00:13:01 - There are different levels of the expression of your wounds 00:17:04 - Why attachment and trauma wounds need to heal through relationships 00:21:24 - What is a healthy amount of healing that can be done in a relationship? 00:23:14 - How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship 00:27:01 - A conversation that taught Shay she wasn't the partner she thought she was 00:29:31 - What it looks like to let your partner off the hook but still be self-responsible 00:32:14 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST at checkout 00:36:03 - How changing your self-approach to "I've got you little one" shifts everything 00:40:52 - How being honest about your hurt in the moment improves your relationship 00:46:30 - How bringing "death energy" to her husband deepened Shay's marriage 00:49:49 - The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up 00:52:31 - A breakdown of Shay's first book, Becoming the One 00:56:52 - Layla's biggest takeaway from this powerful conversation 01:01:43 - True mastery is loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways 01:04:40 - 4 pieces of wisdom Shay used to create a better life than she was born into 01:06:38 - Conclusion
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What to Do When Your Life Is "Perfect" but Your Soul Is Screaming
Shownotes What Sarah's awakening and transition into feminine magic looked like What sacred feminine ceremony actually is How Sarah's marriage was impacted by her awakening Why women's true happiness lies in their connection to themselves The hardest parts about learning the Priestess path The process Sarah went through to overcome her witch wound Bio Sarah thought she was destined to have an "in the box" life after going to a top college, working in advertising and then creating a successful emotional eating company. All of that changed when Sarah was introduced to Ceremony. After hearing "you're not who you think you are" while sitting in Ceremony and feeling the nudge from the Goddess to become a Priestess – she dove headfirst into training and ultimately became an Ordained Priestess. Sarah has a way of making spiritual work incredibly approachable and reaches over 100,000 people all over the world. She works with doctors, lawyers, CEOs, stay at home moms, teachers, life coaches and healers. You can join Ceremony by joining the Living Temple, which Sarah co-founded with Kelly Taveras, to experience this work for yourself. Learn more about Sarah's work on her website and Instagram @sarahjenks Timestamps 00:00:45 - Guest introduction 00:04:01 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com 00:06:25 - Sarah shares what her awakening and transition into feminine magic looked like 00:11:02 - What is a sacred feminine ceremony? 00:13:43 - How Sarah discovered that her experience with the sacred feminine was real 00:14:32 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:15:57 - Sarah reveals how her transition into the sacred feminine impacted her marriage 00:19:53 - Layla and Sarah drink MOOD Sex Magic 00:20:44 - Explore the magic of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir 00:22:56 - Women's happiness lies in their connection to themselves 00:25:04 - The rise of patriarchy correlates with the destruction of the sacred feminine 00:34:07 - The moment Sarah knew she was ready to commit to the sacred path 00:37:04 - What the High Priestess path actually looks like 00:40:31 - Sarah shares the hardest parts about learning the Priestess path 00:45:45 - The most important functions of a Temple in a community 00:48:17 - Discover your sexual potential inside VITA™ Sacred Sexuality 00:51:46 - Humans have an entire brain center that only lights up in spiritual practice 00:57:45 - Sarah shares her favorite item on her altar 00:58:22 - Layla shares her favorite item on her altar 01:02:02 - The process Sarah went through to overcome her witch wound 01:06:50 - Conclusion
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This Therapist Taught Me How to Go from Hot Mess to Girlfriend of the Year
Shownotes Terry's "grid" that reveals how your trauma shows up in relationships The difference between individual empowerment and relational empowerment Which quadrant of the grid Layla is on and how she got there Why Terry calls our relationships our "biosphere" Terry's best advice for shifting out of anger and into connection A powerful guided boundary practice to follow along with Bio Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and best-selling author committed to helping you build the lasting, loving relationships you deserve. The author of four books, including the recent New York Times bestseller Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, Terry knows how to lead people on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy and personal fulfillment. His revolutionary approach to couples therapy, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), underpins all of his books, courses and teachings. RLT equips people with the powerful relational skills they need to make love work and cultivate authentic connections – to themselves, each other and the planet as a whole. A former senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples and fellow therapists. His extraordinary ability to save couples on the brink of divorce garnered Terry the reputation of "the turnaround guy," and demand from other therapists to learn his RLT method skyrocketed. To bring the remarkable results of RLT to as many people as possible, Terry established his Relational Life Institute. To date, thousands of mental health practitioners have benefited from a whole new perspective on couples therapy that has transformed their clients, their practice and their own relationships. Terry is passionately committed to empowering us all with the essential relational skills for meaningful relationships. Learn more about Terry's work on his website and take his FREE quiz. Timestamps 00:00:56 - Guest introduction 00:01:12 - What Terry's book Fierce Intimacy taught Layla 00:05:03 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com 00:05:43 - Terry shares the work that inspired his grid 00:07:00 - Terry's "grid" that reveals how your trauma shows up in relationships 00:09:47 - Why we have a hard time centering our own self-esteem 00:11:21 - Terry gives a real life example of self-esteem 00:15:33 - How to get out of one down or one up on the grid 00:21:10 - Say whatever you have to say, but do it from the heart 00:23:55 - Individual empowerment vs relational empowerment 00:26:10 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:28:41 - Why Terry believes that our relationships are our biosphere 00:37:54 - Unlock your deepest pleasure with MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir 00:38:42 - Layla reveals which quadrant she is in on the grid 00:46:36 - What allowed Layla's pain and desperation to finally dissolve 00:48:52 - Terry guides Layla through an inner child exercise 00:57:45 - Discover your sexual potential inside VITA™ Sacred Sexuality 01:01:38 - The mysticism of marriage 01:07:55 - How Layla chose to be happy no matter what her partner is doing 01:10:50 - Guidance on how to shift out of anger 01:15:44 - Terry guides Layla and listeners through a boundary exercise 01:20:53 - Take Terry's quiz to find out where you are on the grid 01:22:08 - Conclusion
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How to Awaken Your Cervix and Experience Cosmic Pleasure
The Most Important Love Language No One Talks About: Repair
Shownotes What most people don't realize about the happiest couples The difference between narcissistic abuse vs toxicity from trauma How to never get ghosted again What exactly relationship repair is and why it's important Why repair is an ongoing practice Four of the most important skills required to repair successfully Bio Baya Voce is a relationship repair expert helping couples fight better and make up faster. She holds an MSW from Columbia University, is in ongoing supervision with Esther Perel and is trained and mentored by Terry Real. Baya's approach blends therapeutic depth with the practicality of coaching, teaching couples how to break destructive patterns, rebuild trust and come back together. Baya collaborates with Columbia University, MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies) and Rick Doblin on pioneering research into MDMA-assisted couples therapy. She also regularly speaks at SXSW, and with over 5 million views, her TEDx talk on loneliness highlights the often-overlooked impact of relational disconnection. Learn more about Baya's work on Instagram @bayavoce. Timestamps 00:00:45 - Guest introduction 00:03:56 - What led Baya to create a career out of relationship repair 00:08:37 - The social shift of perfection in coaching and leadership 00:10:39 - Sign up for Layla's newsletter at LaylaMartin.com 00:12:01 - What people don't realize about the happiest couples 00:14:35 - How a virtual world is challenging our human connections 00:19:08 - The difference between narcissistic abuse vs toxicity from trauma 00:22:47 - A question to ask yourself if you think you're in a manipulative relationship 00:27:20 - Why Baya chooses to stay in her marriage despite the challenges 00:31:14 - Most couples will experience disillusionment in their relationship 00:33:00 - A question to ask yourself to help shift out of victimization 00:33:47 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:39:29 - The end of a partner's capacity teaches you how strong you are 00:45:51 - How to never get ghosted again 00:50:57 - Explore the magic of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir 00:55:23 - Baya explains the third pole of a relationship 01:01:50 - What exactly relationship repair is and why it's important 01:04:29 - The difference between perception and perspective 01:12:58 - Why repair is an ongoing practice 01:15:17 - Enhance your sensitivity and pleasure inside Crystal Pleasure 01:18:30 - Four of the most important skills required to repair 01:28:49 - Conclusion
This Tantric Life is a podcast created by Layla Martin. The profound conversations throughout This Tantric Life are dedicated to exploring the deep wisdom and practices of Tantra, Sacred Sexuality, and conscious relationships. Join host Layla Martin as she invites her mentors and friends to dive even deeper into the Tantric philosophy and approach that can transform life, intimacy and relationships. Each guest shares their wisdom through deep, thought-provoking conversations that explore the mysteries of conscious living and loving and the opportunity Tantra and Sacred Sexuality present to help us free ourselves.
Layla Martin believes Tantra is the last bastion of personal development, and whether you're a seasoned practitioner of Tantra looking to deepen your practice or simply curious about the intersection between spirituality and sexuality, This Tantric Life with Layla Martin is the perfect podcast to guide you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life. This Tantric Life with Layla Martin will inspire you to embrace your truth and awaken your full potential as a human being.
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