Why Do We Do That?

Why do romance readers keep coming back to stories when they already know there's going to be a happy ending? In this episode, Sarah MacLean explores what makes romance novels so compelling, from yearning and familiar tropes to the emotional payoff of watching characters overcome impossible odds to find love. We also discuss how the genre has changed over the past 50 years, what romance can teach us about relationships and sexuality, and where we should be careful about confusing satisfying fiction with real life.
Keywords
romance novels, psychology of romance, Sarah MacLean, relationships, love, romance tropes, enemies to lovers, happily ever after, yearning, sexuality, consent, fiction, relationship expectations
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why knowing there's a happy ending doesn't make romance novels less satisfying
What separates a romance novel from a love story
Why conflict and yearning are essential ingredients in romance
Why familiar tropes like "enemies to lovers" and "only one bed" are so compelling
How romance novels can provide joy, hope, representation, and a sense of possibility
How the romance genre has evolved alongside changing cultural attitudes
Why relationships that work wonderfully in fiction might be terrible ideas in real life
How romance novels portray sex, pleasure, and consent
Whether romance novels create unrealistic expectations about relationships
Why the genre continues to evolve even though the happily-ever-after ending stays the same
Chapters
00:00 What do readers get from romance novels?
03:46 What makes a romance novel a romance novel?
06:50 The psychology, joy, and hope behind romance
10:31 How the modern romance novel began
15:23 What makes a compelling romance story?
17:36 Why yearning and struggle are more satisfying than happily ever after
19:59 Why romance tropes work
20:24 Enemies to lovers and the psychology of conflict
24:56 Friends to lovers—and why Sarah doesn't love it
30:28 Can romance novels inspire us in real life?
34:42 When romance novels become bad relationship advice
37:24 Are romance novels like pornography?
38:42 Sex, pleasure, and consent in romance novels
42:26 Do romance novels create unrealistic expectations?
44:39 How romance writers stand out in a crowded genre
47:21 How romance novels have evolved
Guest Links
Website — https://www.sarahmaclean.net
Books — https://www.sarahmaclean.net/book-list

In this episode, Barry Schwartz explores why making a good decision isn't always as simple as weighing the pros and cons. We discuss why trying to find the "best" option can sometimes leave us worse off, when we should trust our judgment instead of the numbers, and why having so many choices today can make even simple decisions feel overwhelming. Along the way, Barry offers a different way to think about making choices—and what it really means to choose wisely.
Keywords
decision making, rational choice theory, judgment, behavioral economics, trade-offs, regret, modern decision challenges
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why rational choice theory doesn't capture how many real-world decisions should be made
Why some choices simply can't be reduced to numbers
How quantification can create a false sense of confidence
Why we sometimes prioritize what's measurable instead of what actually matters
The difference between maximizing and choosing something that's "good enough"
Why having more choices can make decision-making harder
How judgment differs from simply following your intuition
Why values and flexibility both matter when making difficult choices
How regret can improve future decisions
Why the modern world may be making thoughtful decision-making more difficult
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Barry Schwartz and his new book
09:30 The limitations of quantifying decisions and outcomes
11:00 The importance of context, framing, and norms in decision making
13:24 The seductive nature of quantification and its pitfalls
14:56 The futility of searching for the 'best' in decisions
16:54 Mechanical errors in probabilistic thinking and uncertainty
18:09 Challenges of quantifying complex decisions like college choices
19:44 The risks of over-reliance on quantification and metrics
22:09 The influence of quantifiable metrics on decision priorities
23:36 The problem with maximizing and searching for the 'best'
25:21 The paradox of choice and satisfaction
27:12 The limits of rational search in life decisions
28:46 When to apply rational choice theory and when to rely on judgment
30:12 The role of reflection and goals in decision making
31:58 Balancing logic, intuition, and emotion in decisions
40:36 The importance of values, principles, and flexibility
41:30 Life as a series of judgment calls, not formulas
42:29 The role of regret in learning and decision improvement
44:29 The right amount of regret and its importance
45:54 Final thoughts on decision making in a complex world
Guest Links
Website - https://www.swarthmore.edu/profile/barry-schwartz

In this episode, Ryan Wexelblatt shares insights on behavioral interventions for children with ADHD, focusing on practical strategies for parents to support emotional regulation, motivation, and behavior management both at home and outside. Discover how understanding the ADHD brain can transform parenting approaches and foster better outcomes for kids.

keywords
ADHD, parenting, behavioral interventions, emotional regulation, executive functioning, motivation, child development, ADHD strategies
key topics
ADHD and executive functioning delays
Cognitive flexibility and emotional regulation
Behavioral interventions and scaffolding
Managing disrespectful language and meltdowns
Creating structure and expectations for ADHD kids

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to ADHD Parenting Strategies
02:59 Meet Ryan Wexelblatt and his expertise
04:29 Understanding how ADHD brains differ from neurotypical brains
06:40 The role of cognitive flexibility in ADHD behavior
08:34 Emotional regulation challenges and solutions
09:25 Living in the moment and its impact on therapy
12:37 Internal dialogue and impulsivity in ADHD
13:39 Triggers of emotional outbursts in ADHD children
15:58 Negative attention and reinforcement of behaviors
18:31 Calmness and response strategies during meltdowns
20:10 Setting expectations and opportunities for self-correction
22:21 Disrespectful language and how to address it
32:26 Teaching accountability and repair after hurtful words
36:45 Managing emotional blackmail and severe behaviors
40:03 Impulsivity and behavior outside the home
43:32 Supporting motivation and routine at home
53:30 Key takeaways for parents of ADHD children

guest links
Website - https://adhddude.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDDudeRyanWexelblattLCSW

Happy 4th of July! I am pleased to announce that I am in the process of migrating to a new podcast platform. While there may be some technical issues along the way, this change will allow me to focus more on VIDEO CONTENT. Stay tuned for more updated!

In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Ryan Moyer speaks with clinical sexologist & licensed mental health counselor Dr. Rebecca Eudy to discuss sex in long-term relationships.

They discuss how sexual desire evolves as relationships grow, how past experiences shape our expectations, the importance of open communication, how to navigate differences in desire, the dynamics of pursue–withdrawal cycles, and practical ways to repair connection and rekindle attraction.

Why Do We Do That? is a psychology podcast that deconstructs the human experience from the perspectives of social scientists, psychologists, and others that use applied psychology in their work.

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