Abiding Together

In this episode, we conclude our book study on Friendship in the Lord and welcome Fr. John Burns, Founder of Friends of the Bridegroom, to the podcast. We reflect on our deep longing to be known and loved and the ways fear can cause us to cling to others or settle for lesser goods. We talk about hoping for the possibility of beautiful friendship, even when our own experience has been marked by loneliness, disappointment, or suffering. We also discuss the beauty of celibate friendship as a witness to the primacy of God's love, the role of feedback in relationships, and how the limitations we encounter in friendship ultimately reveal the deeper truth that we were made for God.

Friends, we feel so blessed to have been able to journey with you this summer. We will see you on September 28th for the start of Season 19! Sign up for our newsletter or follow us on Instagram to receive updates!
 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
How has God moved my heart through this book study?
Where in my heart am I longing for more hope in my relationships?
How has this book study given me more hope for more friendships?
How am I avoiding suffering?
What are my relational patterns when I experience joy? Shame? Suffering?
How have I been tempted to idolize friendship by seeing a friend as my savior?
 
Discussion Questions:
What has resonated with you in the book?
How do you want to show up to your friendships differently?
What would it look like to have hope in difficult or painful relationships?
How are you seeking to grow in maturity in your friendships?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"There is no true love without reverence. And reverence is always tender." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 115)

 
Scripture for Lectio:
"He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled." (John 3:29)
 
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Timestamps:

00:00 Ave Maria Press
01:24 Intro
03:03 Scripture Verse and Guiding Quote
06:10 Appreciation and the Fear of Being Alone
10:19 Hope for What Friendship Can Be
14:01 The Fear of Suffering
20:14 Becoming Who We Are Meant to Be
28:05 Self-Knowledge in Friendship
30:24 The Beauty of Celibate Friendships
38:47 Encountering Loneliness
43:52 Seeing Another's Potential
48:17 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on the gift of friendship as a foretaste of heaven and a living image of God's love. We talk about how we are meant to journey through life with each other, how God bonds us together along the way, and how these friendships are meant to last forever. We also discuss the gift of praising God for our friends, what it means to behold and not possess beauty, and how focusing on gratitude allows us to hold joy and sorrow in tension. 
 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
Who has accompanied you through the valleys and mountaintops of your life?
When do I show up to my friendships from a place of woundedness, deficiency, or insecurity? How is the Lord inviting me into deeper security?
What is the Lord inviting me to delight in?
How have I turned my unmet expectations into demands in my friendships?
 
Discussion Questions:
What are you grateful for?
Where in your life are you experiencing the Lord's presence in the midst of suffering?
When have unmet expectations turned into demands on a relationship? 
How do you cultivate delight and gratitude in your life?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"Friends in the Lord always turn one another toward the Lord. They are not forever gazing at each other, but together they look to the Lord and to their brothers and sisters in the Lord." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 101)

 
Scripture for Lectio:
"We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people's trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming.  But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,  from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body's growth in building itself up in love." (Ephesians 4:14-17) 

 
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Timestamps: 
00:00 Heaven in Stone and Glass
01:38 Intro
02:42 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
05:07 Friendship is Meant to Last Forever
10:13 Faith as the Foundation of Friendship
12:05 Mature Love Gives Deepened Life to Others
13:39 Praising God for Your Friendships
17:20 Beholding Beauty in Others
20:11 Asking God for Gratitude
24:28 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and discuss how friendship with others leads us into deeper intimacy with God. We talk about our longing for both human and divine communion, how healthy friendships free us from self-preoccupation, and why learning to receive feedback is essential to our growth. We also reflect on how unmet desires in friendship are signs of our longing for the Trinity and the importance of releasing lesser goods so that we can be free to receive God's greater gifts. 
 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).
 
Journal Questions:
What makes me feel at home with the Trinity?
How has God invited me to be a more faithful friend?
Where do I need to grow in self-awareness and be freed from self-preoccupation?
What is my disposition when someone lovingly reveals my own weaknesses and shortcomings to me?
How have I refused to grow?
 
Discussion Questions:
What makes you feel at home with other people?
How is God inviting you into deeper communion with others?
How has the Lord revealed to you your weaknesses and shortcomings? How did you receive that truth from Him?
How have you given into sloth by seeking God's lesser gifts and ignoring His greater gifts?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"In a special way, Christian friendship is meant to help us grow in our relationship with the Lord, as one intimately loved by him. It is meant to give us some small experience of what it means to be at home in communion with the Holy Trinity. Only in intimacy with the Lord are we the deepest "who we are." Only in communion with him are we our truest selves." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 77)

 
Scripture for Lectio:
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
01:00 Scripture Verse
02:37 Human Friendship Helps Us Grow In Relationship with God
05:06 Freedom from Self-Preoccupation
07:47 Cultivating Self Awareness
10:15 Giving and Receiving Honest Feedback
14:36 Pain in Friendship is a Symbol of Our Longing for God
19:12 What Should We Do with Our Ache?
22:48 Resting in the Enjoyment of Lesser Gifts
25:05 A Call to Make Room
27:22 Closing Prayer

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on how loving appreciation and reconciliation are the places where friendship matures. We talk about why healthy adult friendships draw us closer to the Lord, how the unique gifts of women and men reveal different facets of God's love, and how learning to behold another's beauty without trying to grasp or possess it calls forth our true identity. We also discuss the importance of recognizing how we've hurt others, expressing sincere sorrow, and allowing others to do the same. As we bring our wounds, suffering, and sin into the love of Christ, we discover that the very places we fear most can become the biggest places of resurrection.

 
Other Resources Mentioned:
Restore the Glory Podcast on Confession (Parts 1-3)

S18 Forgiveness Meditation (with questions from the book Forgiving as Unity with Christ) 

S11 Forgiveness Meditation with Sister Miriam

 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy of Friendship in the Lord from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
Am I maturing as a friend?
What does the Holy Spirit want to teach me through my friendships?
Am I currently experiencing conflict or frustration in a relationship? What is the pain or trigger I feel beneath the conflict?
Can I receive the gift of beauty without trying to grasp or possess it?
How have I failed to uphold the dignity of my friends?
Am I experiencing the fullness of who I am?
What parts of myself am I hiding from my relationships?
 
Discussion Questions:
When have you experienced your own uniqueness in a friendship? Did you experience your uniqueness as a gift to give or as an insecurity to hide?
How is the Lord inviting you to more freely receive your friends rather than possessing them?
How have you participated in belittling or sarcasm in your relationships?
How have you participated in or been on the receiving end of judgment within friendships?
Where does the Lord want to love you into a place of freedom?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"The intimacy of adult friendship in the Spirit can teach us to aspire to the fullest possible intimacy with the Lord himself. The tenderness of one friend toward another is the image of God's own tenderness, when the friends truly love each other in the Spirit." (Friendship in the Lord, Page 62)



Scripture for Lectio:
"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
01:10 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
02:03 Am I Maturing as A Friend?
07:57 Our Different Gifts Reveal Facets of God
11:45 Appreciating Beauty Without Grasping
14:28 Upholding the Dignity of Another
16:03 Receiving Ourselves as A Gift
18:37 Judgement Makes Us Blind
20:30 Exposing Our Weaknesses to the Light
22:00 Remaining Faithful to Our Friends
25:50 Reconciling with God and Others

In this episode, we continue our book study on Friendship in the Lord and reflect on the ways God invites us to grow through the relationships He has entrusted to us. We talk about the importance of rightly ordered love, why true friendship always draws our gaze toward Christ, and the beauty of virtuous friendships between men and women. We also talk honestly about the fears, wounds, and misunderstandings that can arise in friendship, and the importance of repair in deepening a friendship. Friendship is not about finding someone to complete us, but about walking together toward holiness while helping one another become who God created us to be. 
 
Other Resources Mentioned:
Restore the Glory Podcast on Confession

 
Announcement:
You can buy your copy from Ave Maria Press (or Amazon).

 
Journal Questions:
When have I experienced healthy and holy friendship between men and women?
Where is my gaze within my friendships?
Do any of my friendships serve a higher purpose than just the friendship itself?
When have I experienced enmeshment or avoidance within friendships?
Do I prioritize my most important relationships? Who has the Lord especially entrusted to me?
 
Discussion Questions:
How are you pursuing a friendship with the Lord?
Do you think that men and women can have virtuous friendships?
When have you unhealthily looked to a friendship to satisfy all your needs?
Have you ever felt spread too thin in your friendships?
Which example of holy friendship from the book resonates with you?
 
Quote to Ponder:
"Just as love for neighbor proceeds from love for God, so does faith concerning creatures proceed from this love, whether it be general faith or special faith. As there's a general faith corresponding to the love which we ought to feel in general to every creature, so there is a special faith belonging to those who love one another more intimately, like the faith which has established a close particular love between us two." (St. Catherine of Siena)
 
Scripture for Lectio:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:3-9)
 
Timestamps:

00:00 Intro
03:35 Scripture Verse and Quote to Ponder
05:11 The Friendship of St. Catherine and Bl. Raymond
08:57 The Order of Friendship
11:40 Can Men and Women Have Virtuous Friendships?
16:43 Friendship Ordered Towards Christ
19:24 Why Friendship with God Comes First
23:51 Growing Through Different Stages of Friendship
28:02 Rupture and Repair in Friendship
31:48 Closing Prayer