Female by Design

What's the difference between a difficult marriage and a destructive one—and how do you know when it's time to speak up?
 
In this powerful conversation, Francie sits down with counselor and author Leslie Vernick to unpack destructive patterns in marriage, reclaiming your voice, and what it truly means to be a strong, biblical woman.
 
Together, they address harmful teachings around submission, the loss of a woman's voice, and how to discern between normal marital struggles and unhealthy or abusive dynamics. 
This episode offers both clarity and practical wisdom for women who feel confused, shut down, or unsure of what is healthy in their marriage.
 
What You'll Learn
The difference between a disappointing marriage and a destructive one
Why "submission" has often been misunderstood and misapplied
What it means to be an ezer—a strong, helping partner, not a silent one
How to begin using your voice in a healthy, grounded way
Signs of emotional, spiritual, or relational harm
How to discern your next steps with wisdom and support
 
A healthy marriage allows for honesty, growth, and mutual care. If your voice is consistently dismissed, ignored, or punished, something deeper may be wrong.
 
About Leslie Vernick
Leslie Vernick is a licensed counselor, author, and speaker dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate difficult and destructive relationships. With over 40 years of counseling experience, she specializes in emotional abuse, relationship health, and biblical wisdom for real-life challenges.
She is the author of The Emotionally Destructive Marriage and founder of Leslie Vernick Ministries, where she equips women to move from confusion and fear into clarity, strength, and truth.
 
Resources + Next Steps
 
Book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
Website: leslievernick.com (find the Free Quiz: Is your marriage difficult, disappointing, or destructive? And, Free Training: If He Doesn't Hit You, Is It Still Abuse?)
 
If you are in a situation that feels unsafe or confusing, seeking wise, informed support is an important next step.
 
Note from Francie
This conversation may feel tender or activating if you've experienced harm in your marriage. You are not alone, and there is help available.
 
Connect with Francie
🎓 Back to the Garden: A Married Woman's Guide to Pleasure by Design — get a see a fresh vision of what a fully alive, God-honoring intimacy (and pleasure) could actually look like for your marriage. → here
🌿 The Circle — group mentorship community where women have conversations with likeminded women on a journey together towards more→ here
📩 Submit your listener question → Instagram DMs or franciewinslow.com

How do you overcome body insecurity and actually feel at home in your body?
In this episode, Francie addresses the shame, disconnection, and cultural lies that shape how women view their bodies—and invites you back to God's truth: your body is not a problem to fix, but a gift to receive.
You'll learn how body image struggles are often rooted in disconnection, why separating from your body isn't spiritual, and how to begin rebuilding a relationship with your body through truth, gratitude, and awareness. 
This is an invitation to move from criticism to compassion—and from insecurity to confidence in your God-given design.
What You'll Learn:
Why body insecurity runs deeper than appearance
How shame and culture shape body image
God's design for your body as good
Why disconnection from your body leads to insecurity
Simple ways to reconnect with your body and build confidence
Your body is not your enemy.
Confidence begins when you reconnect with your body through truth, not striving.
Connect with Francie
🎓 Back to the Garden: A Married Woman's Guide to Pleasure by Design — get a see a fresh vision of what a fully alive, God-honoring intimacy (and pleasure) could actually look like for your marriage. → here
🌿 The Circle — group mentorship community where women have conversations with likeminded women on a journey together towards more→ here
📩 Submit your listener question → Instagram DMs or franciewinslow.com

It's one of those questions more women have than are willing to ask out loud. In this episode of Female by Design, Francie tackles the topic of pubic hair grooming — not from a medical or therapeutic chair, but from the spirit of let's just have the conversation. Because when we can talk about our bodies without shame, that's exactly where freedom grows.
This is not a moral issue. There is no law, no biblical mandate, no "Christian way" to groom. Francie opens by inviting listeners to release the tension that so often surrounds conversations about our bodies and sexuality, and to approach this one with curiosity instead of shame.
This one's practical, a little lighthearted, and totally judgment-free. 
 
Resource Mentioned
The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina — Separating the Myth from the Medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter — a physician-written, research-based guide to women's health covering everything from anatomy to menopause to grooming. A great resource to have on your shelf (and to share with your daughters as they grow).
 
Connect with Francie
🎓 Pleasure & Orgasm Course — one of Francie's most popular offerings, going deep on female pleasure and anatomy → franciewinslow.com
🌿 The Circle — group mentorship community where women have these conversations together → franciewinslow.com
📩 Submit your listener question → Instagram DMs or franciewinslow.com

What if one of the most powerful tools for healing your nervous system isn't a supplement or a protocol — it's a hug? In this episode, Francie sits down with functional medicine nurse practitioner Carly Bayless to take a deep dive into oxytocin: what it actually is, why it matters far beyond labor and breastfeeding, and how finding "oxytocin opportunities" throughout your day could be the missing piece in your healing journey.
Whether you're navigating chronic illness, new motherhood, a demanding season of life, or simply a cortisol-soaked Tuesday — this conversation will change the way you see connection.
Key Takeaways
Oxytocin is your body's primary buffer against chronic cortisol — it's not a nice-to-have, it's a need-to-have.

You don't need a long list of oxytocin activities. Look for the one opportunity right in front of you and be fully present in it.

Screens replace eye contact (and oxytocin) with cortisol. That trade is more costly than we realize.

Vulnerability in community builds oxytocin. Reaching out when you most want to isolate is often exactly what your nervous system needs.

God wired us for connection — with each other and with Him. The desire to feel safe, near, and known is not weakness. It's design.

 
Meet Carly Bayless
Carly is a functional medicine family nurse practitioner, founder of Nurture Functional Medicine, and host of The Carly Bayless Podcast. Her path into functional medicine began at age 16 when she experienced a major crash of chronic fatigue and was eventually diagnosed with POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). After being told by conventional medicine that there was little to be done, she found real healing through a functional approach — and never looked back. Today she serves women across multiple states and is especially passionate about hormonal health, nervous system regulation, and helping women understand God's design for their bodies.
She's also a relatively newlywed (married January 2024) and a new mom to 11-month-old twins — so she's living this content in real time.
Connect with Carly Bayless
Podcast: The Carly Bayless Podcast Instagram: @carlybaylesswellness | @nurturefunctionalmedicine
 
Resources Mentioned
📖 Anchored by Deb Dana — a therapist's accessible guide to polyvagal theory

🎙️ The Carly Bayless Podcast — follow up on all things functional medicine and nervous system health

📱 Instagram: @carlybaylesswellness | @nurturefunctionalmedicine

🏥 Nurture Functional Medicine — Carly's practice, serving women in multiple states

 
Connect with Francie
🎓 Pleasure & Orgasm Course — one of Francie's most popular offerings, going deep on female pleasure and anatomy → franciewinslow.com
🌿 The Circle — group mentorship community where women have these conversations together → franciewinslow.com
📩 Submit your listener question → Instagram DMs or franciewinslow.com

Francie tackles another listener question — one of the most personal and practical she receives: How can I help my husband better learn what brings me pleasure?
What she loves about this question is the word the listener used: learn. Because that's exactly the right frame. Becoming a great lover isn't about natural talent or chemistry — it's about paying attention, practicing, and becoming a student of each other. And for most women, before they can teach their husband anything, there's a more foundational step: learning what brings them pleasure themselves.
Francie gets honest about how many women — herself included — have been so trained to dissociate from their bodies and silence their desires that they've lost touch with what they actually want. The "duty wife" script, the shame around pleasure, the pressure to just meet his needs — all of it has quietly robbed women of the ability to even answer the question their husband is asking: What do you like?
This episode is the answer. Francie walks through how to re-attune to sensation, how to start naming what feels good, how to wake up your five senses as a pathway to communicating desire — and she closes with a beautifully practical framework that every couple can use starting tonight: the 3 P's — Place, Pace, and Pressure.
Warm, practical, and full of Francie's signature mix of honesty and joy.
The 3 P Framework
A simple, practical tool for teaching your husband what brings you pleasure:
Place — Where on your body do you want to feel sensation? Name specific places and help him understand what type of touch feels good where.
Pace — How long do you want him there? A brief kiss on the neck when he walks in the door is different from lingering during intimacy. When a wife is becoming aroused, staying with what's working rather than moving on too quickly makes all the difference.
Pressure — Firm or feather-light? Intense or gentle? These descriptors help him understand exactly how you want to be touched, not just where.
 
Connect with Francie
🎓 Pleasure & Orgasm Course — one of Francie's most popular offerings, going deep on female pleasure and anatomy → [franciewinslow.com]
🌿 The Circle — group mentorship community where women have these conversations together → [franciewinslow.com]
📩 Submit your listener question → Instagram DMs or franciewinslow.com