GoOD Mornings with CurlyNikki

UnBecoming Part 3.3 - The Hand You Squeeze Back (May 16, 2026)
"I'm okay", he whispers, groggily attempting to sit up on the floor. Kneeling next to him, your hand on his arm, you survey the dimly lit room like a detective. His record player and a stack of albums, the music that had propped up your lives all these years, broke the fall and prevented him from hitting his head. You tell him not to move, as he stubbornly insists on rising anyway.
With slow, steadying steps, he makes his way to the living room to await the emergency workers, with you following close behind, arms hovering outward, as if you could actually catch him if he fell again. >>> CONTINUE
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UnBecoming Part 3.2 - 911: The Sound Before the Fall (May 15, 2026)
God. God. God. You begin to hear the Name of God inside, even as your mom's cry joins your own, it's as if God is calling you, crying out to you from the depths of you, calming you, stilling you, and yet carrying you out of your childhood bedroom, out of that boat, and onto the water of the hallway. It felt a mile long. His legs looked lifeless and still; the moment stood still. Was this that moment? CONTINUE...

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UnBecoming Part 3 - The Hallway. (May 14, 2026)
You look over at the light streaming in through your bedroom window. It's not the soft light of the moon; it's artificial light. Street lights. You're not home, you're back home. In the same twin bed you slept in during high school, watching the same trees dance in the wind, the same shadows play on the same hardwood floors you played on, talked on the phone in circles on, those floors have witnessed you.
And now you kneel on them. You pray on them, whispering down toward them, you walk in tight circles on them, not on a call, but as a form of meditation, feeling God's Love in every step. Calling His Name with every step. Asking to be shown, to be provided the next step- whether to divorce or not. Whether to move or not? To the beach, perhaps.
You're conflicted. But the floor is not. The room is not. It's bare. It's clean. It's small, but tidy. You can hear yourself think here, even as you are trying to get out to that place beyond thoughts, where the real answers come from. The Peace you feel as you listen past your thoughts and look over their shoulders, brings about sleep.
Just as you drift, you are startled awake. Was that a crash? Did something fall? Did someone fall? You listen… for the children. For your parents. Acute. Aware. It was nothing. You soften back into the mattress, resting on your back, not yet asleep again,
CRASH.
Definitely something that time. Definitely someone. Your heart rate rises faster than you can. You jump up, grabbing your phone with shaky hands, instinctively yelling, 'DAD!' the one you worry about the most. The one you've called on the most. The one who understands. Before you can even enter the hall, you see his feet sticking out of his door. God. >>>> UNBECOMING.
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UnBecoming Part 2.3 - No Brakes. (May 13, 2026)
In a haze of "what if" thoughts, you make your way across the parking lot to your car. A safe haven. You lock the door, depress the brake, and push the start button just to get the air flowing. You notice that despite the fearful thoughts, the Name is still flowing inside, like two competing radio stations. Your attention is torn, a war between the flesh and the spirit.
You try to give your attention to the Name, to the Love, to His Presence, but you watch yourself reach for your phone. You are aware that this is not what you want to be doing, yet you watch as your fingers swipe to Safari, then to Google, and begin typing words related to the doctor’s visit and potential findings. CONTINUE...

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That's the face of permanent Grace.
UnBecoming Part 2.2 - The Automatic Practice (May 12, 2026)
They don't respond. You adjust your posture, looking awkwardly down at your feet. You begin to feel the Light emanating from them. You close your eyes. You feel the Feeling. The practice is working. You hadn't consciously turned to it; but God started it. You could hear His Name starting inside, going round and round like a prayer wheel. It was in your voice, yes, but It was going without your effort, automatically, spinning off the cacophony of other thoughts that were trying to invade your inner space. CONTINUE...