Beyond Words with Najwa Zebian

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When love feels like danger, it’s not because you don’t want love. It’s because love has hurt you before.
In this episode of Beyond Words, I explore why so many of us instinctively pull away from love — not out of fear of intimacy, but out of fear of repetition. When vulnerability once led to betrayal, abandonment, or emotional punishment, the nervous system learns to associate love with danger.
We talk about:
Why intensity at the beginning of a relationship is not the same as safety
The difference between someone whose love is their nature versus someone who follows a toolbox to make you fall in love
How inconsistency reveals when someone’s mask has slipped
Why your body learned to protect you — and why it isn’t broken
How to rebuild trust slowly, consciously, and without self-betrayal
Why consistency over time matters more than grand gestures
This episode is for anyone who has ever felt guilty for wanting love, ashamed for trusting, or afraid to open up again. If love once felt like the place where pain entered your life, this conversation will help you understand why — and how to begin teaching your nervous system that safety can exist again.
Your fear makes sense.
 Your body is loyal, not broken.
 And love was never the danger.

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You’ve been taught that being nice is the safest way to survive conflict—especially with people who are cruel, dishonest, or inconsiderate. But niceness can become a way of abandoning yourself.
In this episode, I’m talking about why you keep meeting mistreatment with more kindness, more patience, more understanding—while forgetting the most important person in your life: you.
We’ll unpack:
Why “being nice” can be a trauma response (fawning)
The difference between niceness and kindness
Why self-respect starts with accepting what just happened
How boundaries aren’t punishment—they’re protection
Why you don’t have to endure someone’s hell to “earn” their heaven
Words That Found Me: Brené Brown — “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
Words From Me to You: Welcome Home — “Give Yourself Validation”
If someone’s approval requires your self-abandonment, let them keep it.

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“If they wanted to, they would” is missing one word — and that word changes everything.
In this episode of Beyond Words, Najwa unpacks the difference between wanting and trying, and why intention without effort doesn’t protect your heart, your time, or your dignity. Wanting is easy to say. Trying is what shows priority, care, and commitment.
You’ll be invited to look at the people in your life (and yourself) through one simple lens: Behavior over intention. Actions over words. Effort over excuses. Because when nothing is being done, “they want to” and “they don’t want to” lead to the same outcome.
Najwa also explores how mixed signals keep you stuck on hope, how breadcrumbs train you to survive on scraps of love, and why waiting for someone’s actions to match their words isn’t patience — it’s self-abandonment.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why “If they wanted to, they would” isn’t the full truth
The difference between being unable… and being unwilling
How effort reveals your place in someone’s life
Why mixed signals are a signal — and what to do with them
How to become a “person of choice” in your own life
A simple self-check: “This is me trying.”
Segments:
Words That Found Me — Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Words From Me To You — an excerpt from The Only Constant (page 205) on scarcity, breadcrumbs, and why we hold on.
If this episode supported you, it would mean the world if you left a rating or review wherever you listen or watch.

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What do you do when your partner says they’re uncomfortable with a “friendship” you have with someone else?
In this soul-nourishing conversation, I’m joined by one of my dearest friends—IN-Q (you may know him as @inq.life)—for a deep dive into love, boundaries, trust, and the quiet ways we betray ourselves when we try to be “easygoing” at the cost of emotional safety.
We talk about the difference between secure love and detached love, why “unconditional” doesn’t mean “anything goes,” and how your non-negotiables aren’t demands—they’re clarity. We explore the nuance behind opposite-sex friendships, the idea of “leaky energy,” and what it actually means to honor your relationship without policing each other.
We also go inward: why expression heals, why the right words can become medicine, and why the most powerful relationship you’ll ever build is the one where you learn to speak to yourself with respect.
This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked:
Am I allowed to have needs in love?
When is compromise healthy—and when is it self-abandonment?
How do I walk away from someone I still love?
What does trust actually require?
And it ends with something you might not know you needed to hear: I don’t need to know you to be proud of you.
Guest: IN-Q (@inq.life)
Find IN-Q: in-q.com | Inquire Within | Never-Ending Now Poetry Journal | retreats + tour dates via his newsletter
If this conversation held you, share it with someone who needs permission to choose themselves—without guilt.

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We think our time is endless. So we waste so much of our lives chasing what we think life “should” look like, and calling avoidance “moving on.” But you don’t move on from pain without it being dragged behind you.
In this episode of Beyond Words, I’m joined by my very first guest, grief expert and bestselling author David Kessler. We talk about what grief really is, why denial can be a form of grace, and how judgment keeps us stuck in pain. We explore finding meaning—not in loss itself, but in who we become after it—and why grief needs witnessing, not fixing.
We also talk about grief in relationships, including narcissistic abuse and gaslighting, how to support someone who is grieving without abandoning yourself, and why the worst grief is always your own—because it’s the one you’re living.
Guest: David Kessler
Website: grief.com
Support Groups: Tender Hearts (online)
Social: @IamDavidKessler
Timestamps (Simplified)
00:00 We think our time is endless & why avoidance isn’t healing
02:38 What grief really is: a change we didn’t want
06:00 Denial as grace & how the brain processes loss
11:32 Finding meaning: not in the event, but in who we become
16:16 Why grief must be witnessed, not fixed
20:59 Grieving identities, futures, and relationships
26:45 Judgment, self-compassion, and why shame keeps us stuck
34:35 Cultural rituals of grief & what we’re missing today
40:59 Boundaries while loving someone who’s grieving
46:32 Grieving narcissistic relationships & the death of self
53:21 Freedom is found in reality
56:26 Words From Me to You: don’t do grief alone
58:26 “The worst grief is yours”
01:00:35 Where to find David’s work & support