The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment - Psychology vs your Biology
Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a pattern. And patterns, when understood, can be changed.
We are the descendants of beings who bonded, lusted, and survived—not by chance, but by biology.
In this episode, we explore the elegant architecture of love, divided into three distinct experiences: lust, attraction, and attachment.
Each has its own hormonal symphony: testosterone’s drive, dopamine’s thrill, oxytocin’s warmth. But these chemicals, while essential, are not our destiny. We must choose how we respond to them.
The opportunity lies in seeing love not just as passion, but as a practice—a practice of self-awareness, empathy, and intentionality.
Reframe love from chaos to conscious experience.
Observe your emotions without becoming them.
Build connection that outlasts dopamine spikes.
Your biology is the system, but your awareness can evolve it.
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Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
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Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment - Psychology vs Biology
Chapters:
00:00 The 3 main components of love
01:27 Biology of Love
02:33 Lust and the role of sex hormones
05:42 Attraction and reward pathways
08:25 Attachment and bonding hormones
10:37 Love's addictive power and irrationality
11:44 Infatuation, dependence and controlling behaviours
12:51 Reckless and destructive tendencies
14:11 How we lose rational thinking
16:46 Choosing the right partner
18:02 Cultivating healthy relationship habits
18:23 Send Off
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23:44
Anti-Fragile: How to benefit from uncertainty and build resilience into your systems
A system that grows stronger from chaos? That’s not science fiction. It’s nature’s original design.
Nassim Taleb's Antifragile isn't just a book. It’s a lens—a way to see the world not as a series of risks to be avoided, but as opportunities to evolve.
In this episode, we explore what it means to thrive in disorder. From ancient myths like the Hydra, to modern jobs and biological systems, we trace the pattern: fragility is punished, antifragility is rewarded.
What if you built a life where setbacks made you better, not bitter?
Where unpredictability wasn’t a threat, but a catalyst?
That’s the shift we’re inviting you to make.
Takeaways:
Design your systems to gain from shocks, not just resist them.
Embrace small failures—they prevent catastrophic ones.
Seek environments where your upside grows with uncertainty.
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Get in Touch
👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset
📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com
Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: Anti-Fragile: How to benefit from uncertainty and build resilience into your systems
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Book Overview
03:38 The Central Triad: Fragile, Robust, Anti-Fragile
03:38 Mythological Examples of Anti-Fragility
05:14 Real-World Examples of Anti-Fragility
08:16 Anti-Fragility in Careers and Jobs
11:05 Economic Systems and Anti-Fragility
18:27 The Barbell Strategy for Anti-Fragility
21:21 Optionality: The Key to Anti-Fragility
25:54 The Narrative Fallacy and Practical Applications
28:52 The Path to Invention: Jet Engine and Beyond
29:42 Investing in Thinkers, Not Theories
30:11 Scientific Research vs. Practical Tinkering
31:05 Discussing 'Elephant in the Brain'
32:18 Understanding Favorable Asymmetries
33:41 Bitcoin as a Hedge Against Hyperinflation
35:00 Perishable vs. Non-Perishable: Longevity of Ideas
36:05 Nature's Anti-Fragility and Diet Choices
38:57 Neo Mania: Obsession with Newness
39:56 Medicine: Less is More
45:05 Ethics of Fragility and Anti-Fragility
45:30 Wrap up
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54:30
How to Be Less Wrong: The psychology of self-deception and silly things we believe
Cognitive bias. False memory. The Dunning-Kruger effect. What do they all have in common?
They show how unreliable our minds can be.
In this episode, we explore the science and philosophy of self-knowledge.
From flawed reasoning and failed planning to empathy gaps and epistemic humility. But explained using normal English...
Along the way, we uncover powerful tools to help you become more reliable, more curious, and a little less wrong.
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Get in Touch
👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset
📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com
Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: How to Be Less Wrong: The psychology of self-deception and silly things we believe
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction: The Illusion of Understanding
01:34 The Unreliable Nature of Our Minds
06:04 The Dunning-Kruger Effect and Cognitive Bias
08:00 The Limits of Empathy and Understanding Others
10:40 The Flaws in Our Reasoning and Decision Making
12:39 No awareness or feedback
14:24 Our tendency to fail
16:45 Building Reliability and Resilience18:44 Nonreacting - Chinese farmer parable
21:20 Conclusion: Embracing Our Ignorance for Growth
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29:28
Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein
People avoid you for reasons that have nothing to do with your deodorant.
You can be smart, talented, even funny—but if people feel unseen or misunderstood around you, your life gets smaller.
Dr. Steven Stein has tested emotional intelligence in everyone from Air Force recruiters to reality TV contestants. And the results are weirdly human.
EQ isn’t about being soft. It’s about knowing when to shut up, when to speak up, and when to walk away.
This episode breaks down emotional intelligence like it’s a muscle group: you’ve got to work it, stress it, and recover from it. Steven explains the science, shares unexpected stories (like lighthouse keepers and narcissists), and makes EQ feel practical
We explore:
🔹 Spot the everyday signs you're low on EQ (and how to fix them)
🔹 Build empathy without becoming a pushover
🔹 Train your emotional intelligence like going to the gym
🔹 The biggest traits of success in the FBI, air force, army and navy
🔹 The psychology of reality TV
Come away with the practical side of emotional intelligence in real life - not just in theory
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Steven Stein
Bestselling author and psychologist who has worked with leading corporates, defense agencies and some of the biggest reality TV shows.
Steven J. Stein
Books:
EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success
Emotional Intelligence for Dummies
Hardiness: Making stress work for you to achieve your goals
Get in Touch
👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset
📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com
Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein
Chapters:
00:00 Emotional Intelligence - Steven Stein Intro
02:18 Everyday signs of emotional intelligence
05:40 Improving Emotional Intelligence
08:02 Emotional Intelligence in Different Professions
11:30 Coaching for Emotional Intelligence at Work
14:20 The US Air Force Emotional Intelligence Study
17:00 Empathy Training Course
18:39 Emotional Intelligence and Neurodiversity
23:22 Trainable Aspects of Emotional Intelligence
24:40 Building Empathy by Using Drugs
27:11 Personal Growth in Emotional Intelligence
30:41 Reality TV and Emotional Intelligence
34:54 Cross-Cultural Differences in EQ
38:20 General Likability vs. Emotional Intelligence
40:42 Tips to Build Assertiveness
43:40 Relationship between IQ and EQ
49:59 Outro
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58:59
Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus
There are a million ways to waste time.
We don't need a million and one ways to be productive.
We just need to - Do The Thing
It's easy to overcomplicate productivity:
Over analysing your habits
Over examing your past
Over sharing your strategies.
These are all effective ways to not be productive.
In this episode, we cut through the fluff and focus on the pure, simple truths.
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Get in Touch
👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset
📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com
Growth Mindset Psychology:
Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement.
📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset)
🛜 Website - Growth Mindset
Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement
Episode: Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus
Chapters:
00:00 The many ways to tackle productivity
01:35 Essay - "Doing the thing"
03:08 Busy vs productive
04:47 Productivity for a podcaster
07:00 False productivity - Hiking
08:43 Psychology of productivity
09:27 Procrastination - Temporal Motivation Theory
10:49 Planning Fallacy
11:26 Zegarknik effect - Just start
13:19 Adverts
13:25 Questions and answers
13:34 When should I do the thing?
13:44 What if I don't have time?
13:58 How do you make time?
14:59 What if it's hard?
15:48 What if I am not ready to do the thing?
18:45 What if I don't know how to do the thing?
20:01 What if I fail?
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Über Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement
There are a lot of opinions on how to master your mind, but then there’s PSYCHOLOGY.
We’re all stuck with the brain we’re born with, but we aren’t stuck with how we use it.
Learn science-backed answers to make the most of your mind and your life.
CURIOUS?
Growth Mindset Psychology is the "self-help sceptic" podcast for the curious.
Whether you want to improve performance, navigate setbacks, or know who you are.
We find answers to the true science of self-improvement.
So put down the astrology chart and start working with your mind, instead of against it.
With over 8 million downloads and 60,000 monthly listeners, you’re invited to join.
PROCESS
Instead of telling you what to think, we discuss how thinking works.
Armed with a stack of science journals, textbooks and a boatload of curiosity, we uncover the mechanics of the mind.
Why? >>> Success is personal!
You might want to make the most of your neurodiverse strengths, start a business, or simply find more reasons to smile.
Hone your ability for independent thinking and growth with mental models to pursue your definition of success.
HOST
I’m Sam Webster Harris, a lifelong learner with ADHD, a raging curiosity, and an obsession with finding answers to hard questions.
After launching several businesses, travelling the world and nearly dying a few times I concluded that science and Psychology are where it’s at.
What actually makes people happy? What’s the best way to treat a brain? How can I get more done?
Studying the answers we find that changing behaviours requires building mindsets, mental models, and a healthy relationship with failure.
I run the show to help listeners enjoy nutritious content that feeds their minds (and I needed a legitimate excuse to cover for my reading addiction).
PREMIUM
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Growth Mindset Premium
ARCHIVE
Previous guests include Olympians, Scientists, Billionaires, and Sam's Mum.
Past series:
— Psychology vs Stoicism
— Time Management for busy mortals
— Independence and knowing yourself
— Cognitive biases and rational thinking
— Psychology of connection
— Carol Dweck and the Multiverse of Mindsets
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