Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

Samantha (Sam) Shields was born in San Francisco in 1970 and adopted from foster care as an infant. She grew up in nearby Napa knowing she was adopted, and provided many of the same platitudes as a lot of other adopted people: She wanted you to have a better life. She did what was best for you because she loved you. But Sam was certain something was wrong with her. Why else had she been placed for adoption? Failure to bond with her adoptive mom and her adoptive dad's death when she was seven meant that Sam often fantasized about meeting her original mom. After a years-long search, Sam finally located her original mom in 1997 at the age of twenty-seven and was reunited with her until her mother's death in 2020. The relationship was both challenging and rewarding. Both she and her original mom carried the shame of what happened, making self-acceptance hard. Studies back this up: many adoption reunions break down within the first few years after making contact, and after eight years nearly half of those in an adoption reunion have abandoned the relationship altogether. Ultimately, what allowed Sam to find acceptance in herself was by facing her father, the man who had sexually violated her mother. Sam is currently at work on a memoir about her experience of reuniting with her original mother.

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

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Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

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Originally from Chicago, Gabriel is an adult adoptee, street dancer, reconnecting P’urhépecha native, founder of MoFundamentals - the only foster-adoptee-led dance program in the U.S.- and artivist dedicated to highlighting the resiliency of the foster-adoptee community in Los Angeles. His work includes visibilizing powerful narratives rooted in foster care memory while honoring P’urhépecha and street dance culture in conversation with lessons of manhood; experiencing houselessness; being his own financial safety net; and, through dance healing, processing the loss of his little sister.

Across 14 years, his contributions at the intersection of dance artivism, healing practices, and foster youth advocacy have led to: training at intensives hosted by Rennie Harris (founder of the first and longest running hip-hop dance touring company), hosting the first foster-adoptee dance festival in the U.S., representing LA City District 1 as an ACTIVATE Cultural Policy Fellow, recruitment to pilot re-entry through performing arts programs, and being a 2022 DanceUSA Fellow, and being a 2024-2025 MAP Grantee to visibilize P’urhépecha, foster-adoptee, street dance narratives.

Check out our MoFundamentals website here

Check out our work here!

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, July 11th, at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Born & adopted in 1970 as an infant, Lynn always knew she was adopted. Told the sweet stories of being chosen & special. Lynn’s story later revealed many secrets & lies. Lynn grew up in a middle-class family with both parents, teachers & a brother 8 years older, biological to her adoptive parents. The secret revealed at 16 yrs old was that this was a kinship adoption & she’d known her birth mother her whole life; only as a cousin, not her birth mother. So she didn’t have a reunion but more of a reintroduction to her BM.

Through DNA, she later found her BF in 2019 at age 49 & the last puzzle piece she desired for many years. Only to bring more secrets & lies revealed. This reunion started well, but has unfortunately faded. Both relationships with BM & BF are broken with a second rejection.

Lynn is also an adoptive parent with her husband of 37 years & shares the journey with her daughter’s birth mother in an open adoption.

Lynn’s heart is for clear truth for adoptees & education for adoptive parents before adopting. It’s not a blank slate.

 

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, June 6th, at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Mary Lynn was born in March of 1966 and spent her first ten months in foster care before being adopted and brought to Pittsburgh as an infant. Her foster mother later sent a heartfelt letter to her adoptive parents, carefully recording early milestones—first steps, first words, favorite foods—clear signs that Mary Lynn was well loved from the very beginning. Still, one question stayed with her as she grew up: why hadn’t she gone home from the hospital with her adoptive family? The explanations she received never quite felt complete.

Decades later, with curiosity and a sense that time mattered, Mary Lynn decided to look for answers. Despite the challenges of closed adoption records, she began researching, taking DNA tests, joining online communities, and sharing her story publicly. For years, she followed leads with patience and persistence.

Then one evening, a simple online post changed everything—a birthmother searching for a daughter born in March 1966, with details that closely matched Mary Lynn’s own. With help from experienced search volunteers, connections were made, and DNA confirmed long-held questions about her biological parents.

Meeting her birthmother was meaningful and emotional, even as it revealed a complicated family history and long-kept misunderstandings. Over time, Mary Lynn chose balance and peace, carrying forward the clarity she had gained.

Most importantly, the journey gave her a new purpose. Guided by others who had helped her, today Mary Lynn is a search angel, paying forward the gift of truth, connection, and hope.

 

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, June 6th, at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Adopted as an infant by a naval officer and his wife during the Baby Scoop Era, Diane Wheaton has always heard conflicting versions of the truth of her origins — but it’s not until she is forty-seven years old that she begins to search for her biological family in earnest. Amid search and reunion, however, Diane’s adoptive parents become ill — and while overseeing their care, she is told about a secret they have kept from her for over fifteen years. This shocking disclosure complicates her already complicated feelings for them, and she finds herself faced with an important decision — one that feels almost impossible to make, but which results in a level of healing she never could have anticipated.

A touching memoir of self-discovery, Finding Loretta is Diane’s tale of searching for history, roots, and family. Ultimately, she comes to accept the two distinct dynamics of the families who have helped make her who she is today, and in doing so, she learns to embrace herself and feel grateful for everything she has experienced — even loss.

Diane lives in Southern California with her husband and two Siamese-mix cats. Diane is a member of the National Association of Memoir Writers and was a contributing author to the AN-YA Project’s adult adoptee anthology, Flip the Script.  Finding Loretta has recently been named a finalist in the 38th Annual IBPA Book Award in Parenting and Family.

dianewheaton.com

Author of Finding Loretta: An Adopted Daughter's Search to Define Family

 

 

"A story of resilience, hope, and strength."

--Kristi Elizabeth, Los Angeles Book Review

 

Season 12 Book: The Adoption Paradox by Jean Kelly Widner

Sign up to be part of our mailing list!

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be Saturday, May 16th, at 1 pm ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

Adoptees Connect

Adoptee Mentoring Society

Gregory Luce and Adoptee Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.

Kristal Parke Because She Is Adopted

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.