Adoption: The Making of Me. An Oral History of Adoptee Stories

• Heather: A Longing Led to Searching

  Heather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Her second novel, When the Ocean Flies, released in February 2024 (Vine Leaves Press). The novel is an adoptee-focused exploration of love and longing, of identity and belonging, and of healing from trauma. Heather was born in Leith, Scotland, in 1967, relinquished at birth, sent to foster care, and subsequently adopted in Scotland. She has been in reunion with her mother for twenty years, and was in reunion with her father for the last six years of his life. In her writing, Heather explores family, adoption, women (especially older ones), the natural environment, and how these intersect. When she isn’t writing, she likes to hike, travel, practice yoga and meditation, do a wee bit of knitting, and, of course, read. Originally from Scotland, Heather now lives in the United States. You can find out more about her at heathergmarshall.com.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallMagic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFMEAPR  https://www.magicmind.com/MAKINGOFMEAPR Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Kate: For This Adoptee, the Surprises Kept Coming

  Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father’s family, who have been welcoming.Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father’s friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for. Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents. Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallMagic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFMEThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaTo get your subscription of Magic Mind, go here: https://www.magicmind.com/MAKINGOFME.Support the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Mike: From Adoption to Discovery

  Mike Brettmann was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1958 and adopted a few days later. He grew up on a small farm in Iowa with a brother who was adopted from another family. They were always told they were adopted, but it was never discussed. Mike joined the army after high school and served nearly 28 years on active duty. His uncle asked him to find the Brettmann family history while stationed in Germany. After tracing the Brettmann family in 1987, he wanted to find his roots. In 1999, he found his adoption papers and began a search for his birth parents, and in 2010, he connected with his birth mother. She gave him information about his birth father, who was not listed in the adoption papers, and they met in 2012. The reunion with his birth parents did not go well, but he was happy to learn his story and find some other relatives that he created a relationship with.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallMagic Mind - Use Code: MAKINGOFMEThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Ellianna: The Power of Reverse Healing

  Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older. Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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• Becky: Shifting Perspectives of Adoption

  Becky is a scientist, mother, wife, and baby scoop era adoptee who lives with her husband and biological daughter in Oregon. She was born in California, separated from her very young mother at birth, and adopted at 6 weeks by a married couple struggling to have their second biological child. Comfortably raised, she always knew she was adopted, special, and “chosen”. Her adoption was closed, and the birth certificate remains sealed.In 1993, with the help of her adopted sister and a document listing her birth name that her adopted father had been given by accident, Becky found and contacted her birth mother, who welcomed her warmly. They have been in reunion since that time. The person thought to be her biological father reportedly struggled after serving in Vietnam, was difficult to find, and passed away before any contact was made. At peace with the understanding that she would never meet him, Becky was astonished when, in late 2023, a DNA match emerged indicating that a different person was her biological father and that he was alive. Becky located and met her actual biological father in early 2024.Since the shocking revelation about her “new” father and the rewriting of the narrative around her birth, Becky has been exploring and questioning the dominant social paradigm around adoption. She now has a very different perspective about the nature of choice, reproductive equity, who is a worthy mother in our society, and basic rights around identity. Even though the fog had not yet lifted at the time of her daughter’s birth, Becky never considered adopting. Having a baby at the ripe old age of 42 is not always successful, but she knew “choosing” someone else’s child was not her solution.The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee SmallThank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.RESOURCES for Adoptees:S12F Helping AdopteesGregory Luce and Adoptees Rights LawFireside Adoptees Facebook GroupDr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness MovementMoses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocateNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.Unraveling Adoption with Beth SyversonAdoptees Connect with Pamela KaranovaBecause She Was Adopted by Kristal ParkeDear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika RoudaSupport the showTo support the show - Patreon.

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