BigDeal

Most people think self-doubt is the enemy. Dr. Shadé Zahrai knows better — it's actually a signal. After spending years researching the neuroscience of confidence and studying thousands of high performers, this Harvard-trained leadership expert has cracked the code on why self-doubt never fully disappears and what top performers do differently when it shows up. In this raw conversation, Dr. Shadé breaks down the exact four drivers of self-doubt that hold people back, why waiting to feel confident is the wrong goal completely (confidence comes after action, not before), how expectation bias creates the reality you experience, and why the opposite of self-doubt isn't confidence at all — it's self-trust. But this isn't theory — it's applied neuroscience. We get into the five elements that increase your perceived confidence (posture, eye contact, gestures, vocal tone, and walking speed), why smiling doesn't equal weakness, how to use the CUT method to handle manipulators, and why writing things down by hand increases recall by activating different parts of your brain. If you've ever felt like self-doubt is holding you back, or if you're tired of waiting to feel ready before you take action, this episode will rewire how you think about confidence, competence, and what it actually takes to trust yourself. Check out Dr. Shadé Zahrai’s new book Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, Fuel Success — out January 20th. Pre-order now: https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust Download Dr. Shadé’s free Morning Clarity Reset tool: https://bit.ly/morningclarityritual Keep up with Dr. Shadé Zahrai Website: https://www.shadezahrai.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahraiLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai/YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@Dr.ShadeZahraiTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:28 The Scar Study: How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality 00:03:43 The Four Drivers of Self-Doubt 00:08:18 You Are Not Your Doubts: The Ping-Pong Ball Analogy 00:11:20 Affective Labeling: Name Your Emotions to Tame Them 00:14:21 The Opposite of Self-Doubt is Not Confidence, It's Self-Trust 00:16:57 Manifestation Done Right: The Michael Phelps Pre-Mortem Strategy 00:23:41 The Five Elements of Charisma: Posture, Gestures, Eyes, Voice, and Walk 00:43:52 How to Win Any Room: The Five-to-One Question Rule 00:47:42 The CUT Method: How to Handle Manipulative Behavior 01:01:15 Imposter Syndrome and the Citibank Napkin Story 01:07:18 The Top Five Regrets of the Dying 01:22:51 Morning Clarity Reset: The One Daily Ritual That Changes Everything ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think mindset is everything. Tony Robbins knows better — it's what comes before mindset that determines whether you break through or break down. After 49 years coaching everyone from world leaders to suicidal strangers, the legendary peak performance strategist has cracked the code on why most people set goals they never keep, make decisions they never follow through on, and stay stuck in patterns they know are destroying their lives. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Tony breaks down the exact three-step formula for creating breakthroughs that actually last: state, story, and strategy — in that order. We dive into why your emotional state controls everything you perceive, how the stories you tell yourself become the limitations you live by, and why even the best strategy in the world won't work if you're in the wrong state when you try to execute it. Tony reveals why fasting is easier than dieting (absolutes beat negotiation every time), how a general made a 10-year Pentagon decision in 40 minutes, and why most people confuse deciding with committing when real transformation requires resolve. But this isn't theory — it's applied psychology from the trenches. Tony walks through his actual intervention process, why he asks 167 questions before making one statement, how he reads people's top two human needs in minutes, and why sometimes you have to offend someone to actually help them. We get into why positive thinking is bullshit without capability, how a $78,000 betrayal became his greatest teacher, and why the law of attraction is real but dangerously incomplete. If you've ever set a New Year's resolution and abandoned it by February, or if you're tired of knowing what to do but not doing it, this episode will rewire how you think about change, discipline, and what it actually takes to destroy the negative thoughts holding you back. Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie Tony's hosting his final Time to Rise Summit — three days, completely free, January 29-31. Over a million people from 193 countries have transformed their lives through this event. Sign up at https://www.timetorisesummit.com ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:01 The Three S's to Breakthrough: State, Story, and Strategy 00:05:22 Why Your Story Controls Your Life More Than Anything Else 00:12:02 Decision, Commitment, and Resolve: The Three-Part Process 00:25:55 The Law of Attraction is Real But Not Enough 00:30:46 Why You Can't Please Everyone and Still Have Impact 00:35:21 The Oprah Story: When Support Becomes Enabling 00:43:51 The Six Human Needs and How They Drive Everything 00:46:00 Partnership Mistakes and the Three Questions for Evaluating Anyone 00:54:20 How Tony Prepares for Events: Obsessive Preparation Meets Improvisation 00:56:11 Time to Rise Summit: The Free Event Born from COVID ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think discipline is about willpower. Ryan Holiday knows better — it's about habit. After writing multiple bestselling books on Stoicism and spending decades studying history's highest performers, the author of The Obstacle Is The Way and Ego Is The Enemy has cracked the code on why the world's hardest workers aren't just talented or lucky. They've built systems that make discipline inevitable. In this raw conversation, Ryan breaks down the exact frameworks used by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus to stay calm under fire, make sharper decisions under pressure, and most importantly — get things done. We dive into why discipline isn't something you are but something you do, how the Stoics battled procrastination (Seneca said all fools are always getting ready to start), and why negative visualization beats positive manifestation every time. Ryan reveals his actual research process (analog note cards, not AI shortcuts), why he reads the same books over and over, and how to inoculate yourself against audience capture when everyone's telling you what to create. But this isn't theory — it's applied philosophy. We get into why waking up early is useless if you stay up till 2 AM, how to make hard things black and white so you can't rationalize exceptions, and why your calendar should have large blocks of white space, not meetings. Ryan walks through his panic rules from coaching the LA Rams, why ego destroys more empires than external obstacles, and how he went from running publicity stunts and media manipulation campaigns to building one of the most disciplined creative practices in the world. If you've ever felt like discipline is this vague thing you either have or don't, or if you're tired of procrastinating on the life you know you should be building, this episode will change how you think about work, focus, and what it actually takes to win. Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://nextinsurance.com/codie ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:06 Panic Rules: What To Do When Everything Falls Apart 00:03:05 Discipline Now, Freedom Later: The Labor Will Pass 00:07:37 The Simplest Daily Habit to Build Discipline 00:11:59 Large Uninterrupted Blocks of Time: The Secret to Success 00:16:09 Procrastination is Arrogant: It Assumes You Have Forever 00:22:39 Enjoying the Journey: Why the Work Matters More Than the Reward 00:28:22 Negative Visualization: Why the Stoics Planned for the Worst 00:33:10 The Note Card System: How Ryan Remembers Everything 00:34:52 You Must Love Learning If You Would Possess It 00:43:14 Know Thyself: The Oracle of Delphi's Most Important Command 00:46:05 Ego is the Enemy: How It Destroys Success 00:53:16 The Power to Have No Opinion 01:00:06 Haters, Criticism, and the Statistical Certainty of Dislike 01:18:04 Audience Capture: When Your Audience Has You 01:09:04 From Marketing Manipulator to Stoic Philosopher 01:15:17 The Corner Office Phenomenon: Looking Down the Hall 01:17:01 Are Humans Contagious? Culture, Values, and Becoming Who You Spend Time With 01:06:44 Should We All Get a Donkey? Life Lessons from the Ranch 01:21:15 Final Reflections: The Path That's Yours Alone ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID 📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp 📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN 🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/ 💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk 🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think goal setting is about writing down what you want. It's not. It's about creating gravitational pull so strong that your entire life reorganizes around what you're building. After 15 years of setting and hitting impossible goals — from building multiple businesses to launching a top podcast to selling a million books — I've cracked the code on why most people fail and the few who win do it differently. In this episode, I break down my exact five-step process for setting goals you'll actually follow through on in 2026. You'll learn the regret minimization framework from Jeff Bezos, why Elon Musk uses first principles and backwards timelines, how Warren Buffett's 5/25 rule forces ruthless focus, and why Sam Walton obsessed over daily numeric targets instead of quarterly objectives. I reveal why exploitation keeps you efficient but exploration creates breakthroughs, how to use goal gravity to pull everything towards your target, and why your year needs a name before it can have a plan. But this isn't theory — it's my actual goal journal from the last 15 years. I show you my relationship goals, work targets, travel plans, and even the silly stuff like feeling more feminine and cutting out bread (spoiler: didn't nail that one). You'll see my "more of/less of" list, why I track daily streaks, and how I turned 2024 into my "full send" year and 2025 into my "year of flow." If you're tired of setting the same goals every January and abandoning them by February, or if you want to finally build a life most people only dream about, this episode will change how you think about goal setting forever. It takes 21 days to create a habit, but 90 days to create a totally different lifestyle. Start your timer. This is day one. Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://www.nextinsurance.com/codie ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:12 Goal Gravity: Why Small Goals Kill Your Future 00:02:13 Exploitation vs Exploration: The Fork in the Road 00:03:44 The Regret Minimization Framework from Bezos 00:04:40 Name Your Year: The Power of Framing 00:06:26 First Principles and Backwards Timelines: The Elon Musk Method 00:09:21 The Four Goal Categories: Relationship, Work, Travel, and Fun 00:11:37 The Say No List and Warren Buffett's 5/25 Rule 00:13:17 More Of, Less Of: The Anti-Goal Method 00:14:59 Daily Scoreboard: Sam Walton's Obsessively Measurable Goals 00:16:54 The Five Patterns of World-Class Goal Setters ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think communication is about what you say. It’s not. It’s about what happens in the listener’s brain before you finish your sentence. This episode breaks down the neuroscience of communication and why charisma is overrated. Real influence comes from how the brain processes sound, novelty, and behavior in real time. You’ll learn the communication frameworks used by top performers, executives, and elite negotiators including vocal entrainment, micro-behavior mirroring, attention psychology, dopamine triggers, storytelling science, and credibility language patterns. We cover how to speak in short, high-impact bursts, use questions to increase engagement, and control silence in high-stakes conversations. These are practical tools pulled from boardrooms, negotiations, and live debates. If you want to communicate with confidence, influence faster, and be taken seriously in business, leadership, sales, and negotiations, this episode will change how you speak. Communication isn’t a soft skill. It’s applied neuroscience. Protect what you own. Next makes it fast, simple, and painless. Check it out: https://www.nextinsurance.com/codie I say it all the time: building real wealth doesn’t require a flashy startup — it just takes one boring, cash-flowing business. Join me at Main Street Millionaire Live to get my exact playbook for finding, buying, and scaling a business. Stop wondering how ownership could change your life, and come find out: https://contrarianthinking.biz/MSML26_BDYT ___________ 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:38 The Neuro-Echo Effect: People Mirror Your Energy in 200 Milliseconds 00:02:46 The Brain Is Addicted to Novelty, Not Logic 00:03:45 Clarity Over Complexity: The Simplicity Anchor 00:04:44 Questions Increase Dopamine: The Curiosity Loop 00:06:53 Your Voice Controls Other People's Heart Rates 00:07:56 Rhythmic Language Sounds More True 00:09:49 The 3-to-1 Trick for Difficult Conversations 00:12:06 Speak in Sprints, Not Streams 00:14:19 Gesture Before You Speak: Gesture Priming 00:16:13 Stories Stick 22 Times More Than Facts 00:19:15 Replace 'I Think' with 'I've Observed' 00:20:29 The Cognitive Snap: Using Names and Details 00:21:43 Open Your Rib Cage: Postural Neuroendocrinology 00:23:01 Taking Turns Builds Trust Faster Than Agreement 00:24:45 End with the Cognitive Close, Not a Question ___________ MORE FROM BIGDEAL 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez 📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez OTHER THINGS WE DO 🌐 Our Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices