Pause Purpose Play

Ever felt guilty for using after-school club, holiday club, childcare, or asking for help?

In this episode, I'm talking about something many parents carry quietly: the guilt and shame of needing support.
Whether you're the last parent at pickup, relying on wraparound care to make life work, or trying to parent an intense, sensitive, or neurodivergent child without a village around you, this episode is for you.

I explore why support isn't failure, why childcare can be a form of scaffolding rather than a sign you're not coping, and why taking care of yourself is often one of the most caring things you can do for your child.

Because your child isn't in childcare because you don't care.
They're there because you do.

In this episode, we cover:

Why modern parenting was never meant to be done alone

The guilt many parents feel about needing childcare and support

Parenting intense, sensitive and neurodivergent children

Why support is scaffolding, not failure

The impact of burnout on family life

How childcare can help you recover, regulate and reconnect

Releasing the shame of not being able to do it all yourself

If you've ever wondered whether you're a bad parent for needing a break, I hope this episode offers a gentler perspective.

If you're a woman navigating ADHD, perfectionism, burnout, or the pressure of holding everything together, I'd love to invite you to explore how we can support you.

To get my latest unhinged musings and get inspiration for how you can better meet your own emotional needs, make sure to get my Friday newsletter here:
www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/newsletter

In this episode of Pause, Purpose, Play, we dive deep into the powerful connection between shifting hormones and neurodivergence with Dr Fionnuala Barton, also known as The Menopause Medic.
 
We explore how the natural fluctuation and decline of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can drastically worsen ADHD symptoms both across the monthly menstrual cycle and throughout perimenopause. These hormonal shifts often show up unexpectedly as heightened anxiety, cognitive changes, and intense brain fog, leaving many women struggling with word-finding, memory gaps, constant distractibility, and zoning out. Left unmanaged, this combination significantly increases the risk of complete burnout.
 
Dr Barton explains why these symptoms frequently intensify during the luteal phase right before a period, and emphasizes that it is never too early to seek medical support, even for those under the age of forty-five. Throughout our conversation, we cover the vital importance of ruling out overlapping factors like iron deficiency and Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. We also demystify the medical side of hormone health, discussing sensitivity to contraception, the trial-and-error process of finding the right HRT delivery method, and how to distinguish between PMDD, traditional PMS, and perimenopausal tracking.
 
We talk about practical, everyday strategies that support your brain and body without the pressure of perfectionism. Dr Barton shares foundational lifestyle habits centered around quality sleep, consistent hydration, and steady nutrition packed with complex carbohydrates, protein, fiber, calcium, omega-3s, vitamin D3/K2, and creatine. We wrap up with actionable advice on how partners can step in to provide meaningful support, making this a must-listen episode for anyone navigating the intersection of ADHD and hormone health.

Do you look like you’re coping on the outside… whilst feeling overwhelmed underneath it all?

Many high-achieving women with ADHD go undiagnosed for years because they appear successful, capable and “high functioning” externally — whilst internally battling chronic overwhelm, perfectionism, anxiety and exhaustion.

In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist and ADHD specialist Michaela Thomas explores why ADHD gets missed in high-achieving women, and the hidden cost of masking, overcompensating and holding everything together.

Inside the episode, Michaela explores:

ADHD masking and overfunctioning in women

why intelligent and successful women often get missed

the “good girl” adaptation and perfectionism

ADHD burnout and nervous system overwhelm

the difference between coping and truly thriving

why many women don’t seek support until later in life

Because many women with ADHD were never truly “fine”.
They simply became exceptionally skilled at hiding the struggle — from others and from themselves.

If this episode resonates and you’d like to explore ADHD assessment further, head on over to www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd to learn more about compassionate online and in-person ADHD assessments for women.

In this episode, I’m sharing a more personal reflection on what it’s actually like to move through grief when your brain is already wired for intensity, sensitivity, and self-questioning.
Because one of the things I’ve noticed…n is how quickly grief can get mislabelled as avoidance.

You might think:
 “Why can’t I just get back to normal?”
 “Am I slipping?”
 “Do I just need more discipline?”
 
But what if that’s not what’s happening at all?

 In this episode, we explore:

The difference between avoidance vs readiness after grief (and why that matters)

How your nervous system processes loss (and why you feel so tired)

The productivity pressure ADHDers carry, to push through and perform

What it means to listen inward instead of overriding yourself

Gentle ways to support yourself when you feel raw, slower, or not quite ready

 Want support with this work?
If this episode resonates, this is exactly the kind of space I create inside my coaching work —
 where we move away from burnout and pressure, and towards self-trust, nervous system safety, and sustainable ways of living and working with ADHD.

 Join me in person at Golden – 15th May in London
 A space to connect, unmask, and be around women who get it—without having to explain yourself.

Golden In Person Event May 2026

I explain that “time optimist” isn’t my term but a gentler Swedish alternative to “time blindness,” reframing chronic lateness and overcommitting as optimism about what fits into limited time rather than moral failure. From an ADHD and executive-function lens, I describe how difficulty sensing time’s passage, prioritizing, task initiation, distraction, and hyperfocus can lead to double-booking, missed deadlines, and “deadline dancing,” even when people care deeply and feel shame. I discuss how stress can worsen planning and focus, how punctuality varies by brain wiring and socialization, and why rigid professions can be harder than flexible work arrangements. I connect time optimism with procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and self-criticism, especially under modern pressures. I share practical supports like visual timers, time tracking, adding buffers, tolerating being early, reflecting on how rushing feels, and using self-compassion as motivation to change.