The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast

Have you ever known something was broken in a relationship but had no idea how to say what you actually needed to fix it? That's where so many of us get stuck.

This week, Candace and communication coach Jason VanRuler move from understanding the PATHS types to putting them to work, starting with a listener question about a family conflict that has been festering for twenty years. Jason reframes the whole thing: the problem is rarely that people won't talk. It's that they don't know what they need in order to move forward.

The conversation moves through how each communication type engages with conflict, from the Peacemaker who needs reassurance that the relationship will survive the hard conversation, to the Advocate who can throw the whole relationship away for the win, to the Thinker who arrives with a trolley of evidence, to the Harbor who creates so much space for feelings that the conflict never actually gets resolved, to the Spark who surprises everyone when the intensity finally breaks.

Jason also addresses what to do when the other person simply is not willing, and how to tell the difference between what we want and what we actually need.

Two more listener questions round out the episode: a mom whose first-grade son keeps getting excluded, and a teenage girl named Blythe navigating anxiety. Jason's answer to both comes back to the same thing. Confidence rooted in identity. When we know who we are and what we stand for, rejection still hurts, but it doesn't define us. And for the teenage girl spinning in worry? Noting the anxiety and then redirecting that energy somewhere useful turns out to be far more effective than overthinking it.

Download the free Healthy Connection Guide at candace.com, where you can also submit questions for future episodes. For Jason's "Communicate to Connect" video guide, go to candacecbure.com/together

Life is like a rollercoaster, but it's better when we go through it together!

Connect with Candace and Jason 


Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 


Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 


Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast


Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/


Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor


Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Sponsors For This Episode


PHD myphdweightloss.com and call #864-644-1900 and mention Candace. 


Crowdhealth Go to JoinCrowdHealth.com and use code CANDACE


GCU gcu.edu


316 Financial https://bank316.com/candace-cameron-bure

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Have you ever been around someone who made you feel like your feelings actually mattered? Or tried for months to get through to someone you love, only to catch one brief moment where they let you in?

That is exactly what this episode is about. Candace and Jason VanRuler are back to continue the PATHS series, and this week they go deep on the two communication types that might be the most misunderstood: Harbor and Spark.

Jason opens up about being a Harbor himself — the feeler of the group, the one who makes space for everyone else's emotions and often forgets to need that space too. He shares the story of a therapist on a bus who had spent a career being a Harbor for others and had never once had one for herself. The loneliness in that is real, and so is the beauty of what a Harbor offers when it's healthy. They also talk about the wound that often shapes a Harbor: being a kid whose feelings just didn't get to matter.

Then there's the Spark — the one who lights up a room, gets every conversation going, and sometimes vanishes the moment things get heavy. Candace and Jason talk about what it actually takes to reach a Spark in a real relationship, and Candace shares what her husband has taught her about patience, cigars on the patio, and the one-in-three conversations that open everything up.

Two listener questions round out the episode: one about a three-year-old who worries too much, and one from a mom who feels like she's losing her twelve-year-old.

Download the free Healthy Connection Guide and join the Together Community at candace.com. Sign up for email updates at candace.com.

Life is like a rollercoaster, but it's better when we go through it together!

Connect with Candace and Jason 


Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 


Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 


Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast


Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/


Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor


Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Sponsors For This Episode


IFCJ ifcj.com 


PHD myphdweightloss.com and call #864-644-1900 and mention Candace. 


316 Financial https://bank316.com/candace-cameron-bure


GCU gcu.edu

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever told the truth and still felt like the message didn't land? Or held back because you weren't sure how to say it without it coming across wrong?

Candace and licensed therapist Jason VanRuler are back this week continuing the conversation about the PATHS communication types — and this time they're going deep on two of them: the Advocate and the Thinker.

The Advocate leads with what's fair, what's right, and what needs to be said. Proverbs 27:5 says, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" — and that's the Advocate's whole posture. But Jason talks about what it looks like when the truth is delivered without the right packaging, and Candace opens up about her own Advocate score and a real conversation where she had to say out loud: the truth matters more to me than the fix right now.

The Thinker, meanwhile, goes quiet before they go anywhere. Proverbs 18:13 is the anchor verse: "To answer before listening — that is folly and shame." Someone with a Thinker communication style is processing and fact-checking themselves, making sure what they say is worth saying. Candace shares what that looks like on set and why the people around her have learned to just let her think.

There's also a listener question from Lucia about family members she can barely tolerate, a conversation about letting your kids watch you work through conflict, Jason's "boredom binder" of life skills, and an honest look at what it took for him and his wife to stop arguing in circles.

Go to candace.com to sign up for email updates, get more of Jason's communication tips, and buy access to Jason's Communicate to Connect video series.

Connect with Candace and Jason 


Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 


Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 


Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast


Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/


Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor


Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Sponsors For This Episode


PHD myphdweightloss.com and call #864-644-1900 and mention Candace. 


IFCJ ifcj.com 


NOCD Visit nocd.com to book a free call 


Toups & Co toupsandco.com/candace and use code CANDACE for 25%

316 Financial https://bank316.com/candace-cameron-bure

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Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like the other person heard something completely different from what you said? That gap between what we want and what really happens is where so many of our hardest moments show up — in our marriages, with our kids, with the people we love most.

This week, Candace sits down with licensed therapist, coach, and author Jason VanRuler to start a six-week series on the five communication types he outlines in his book "Discovering Your Communication Type." Right from the start, this one feels less like a lecture and more like finally getting words for something you've always sensed about yourself.

Jason introduces the PATHS framework: Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, and Spark — and the conversation digs into the first type: the Peacemaker. If you've ever found yourself working overtime to keep everyone okay, managing the energy in a room without anyone even knowing, this episode is going to feel very familiar. Jason shares how our communication types are often rooted in what we needed most as kids, and how the gift we give others is usually the gift we once longed for ourselves.

A listener question from Bethany about her husband's phone use leads to one of the most practical moments in the episode — including a line from Jason that could genuinely shift a marriage: "If it matters to you, it matters to me."

Sign up for email updates, grab the free Healthy Connection Guide with Jason's communication type assessment, and learn how to buy Jason's course "Communicate to Connect" at candace.com.

Connect with Candace and Jason 


Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 


Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 


Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast


Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/


Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor


Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Sponsors For This Episode


NuEthix nuethix.com/candace


IFCJ ifcj.com 


PHD myphdweightloss.com and call #864-644-1900 and mention Candace. 


316 Financial https://bank316.com/candace-cameron-bure

GCU gcu.edu

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked out of a hard conversation wondering, "How did that go so wrong?" Or maybe you're the one who always holds the peace together in a room, running on empty because no one else seems to notice.

We have all been there. And starting next Tuesday, we're going to do something about it.

Jason VanRuler is a licensed therapist, communication coach, and author who has spent years helping people understand not just how to talk to each other, but who they actually are in conversation. Are you a peacemaker, a challenger, or the safe person everyone calls first?

That's the question at the center of this six-week series — and the answer might open up something real in your most important relationships.

This is a preview of what's coming, and Candace can't wait to dig in with you. Go to candace.com to sign up for email updates so you'll always be first to know when new episodes drop.

Life is like a rollercoaster , but it's better when we go through it together!

Connect with Candace and Jason 


Candace on Instagram @candacecbure 


Follow the Podcast on Instagram @candacecameronburepodcast 


Follow the Podcast on TikTok @ccbpodcast


Jason on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/


Jason on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor


Website: https://www.jasonvr.com/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices