Ancient Aliens claims that myths about divine "Watchers" from the Anunnaki to the Eye of Horus are actually cultural memories of extraterrestrial surveillance systems. But what if the truth is far more terrestrial and much more insidious? Tristan argues that these stories aren't about alien technology, but a very human one: the invention of divine surveillance as a tool for social control. Join us as we unpack the 5,000-year-old con of the panopticon, a psychological prison designed to make you regulate your own behaviour. From Mesopotamian statues watching over grain silos to Jeremy Bentham's famously preserved head, they explore how ancient priests perfected a system of control so effective that modern governments and tech companies basically just copied it. So the next time you feel a pang of anxiety about that little green light on your laptop, thank an ancient priest for programming your brain to accept it. Oh, and they also redesign Catholicism to include nachos and Buzz Balls. Stuff mentioned in the episode:Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Jeremy Bentham's Auto-icon at UCLCaitlin Doughty's YouTube channel, Ask a MorticianDavid GraeberPeter KropotkinElf on the ShelfThe PanopticonThe Benjamin Franklin EffectSystem 1 & System 2 ThinkingDimension 20Debt: The First 5,000 YearsThe Conquest of BreadHome AssistantPi-holeSignalThe ACLUThe CCLAM&M Food Market"Shaming the Meat"Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:38:46
The Gospel According to the House Hippo
After an 11-month hiatus that felt like a biblical epoch, Tristan and Scott are back to ask the tough questions, like "Do you remember the name of our own podcast?" and "Do Christians actually believe in angels?". The answer, according to Ancient Aliens, is that they shouldn't because angels were actually extraterrestrial visitors misunderstood by primitive humans.Join us as we dive into the linguistic weeds, tracing words like the Hebrew malak and the Greek angelos to reveal how "messenger of God" got deliberately misinterpreted as "messenger from another planet". We'll explore similar divine go-betweens in Akkadian, Zoroastrian, and even Islamic traditions, all while trying to figure out how a Canadian PSA about a tiny, crumb-eating hippo is the key to media literacy. We connect the dots between cherry-picking ancient texts for aliens and the more sinister historical revisionism of the Lost Cause and Nazi archaeology because of course we do.Stuff mentioned in the epsiode:House Hippo PSA (Concerned Children's Advertisers)Ice Angel (2000)Assassin's Creed Isu loreMaimonides' Mishneh Torah (angel hierarchy)Michael (1996) - John Travolta filmAngels in the Outfield (1994)Draw with Jazza YouTube channelGet new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:22:19
Dramatic_Fart.mp3
In April 2025, the James Webb Space Telescope made a groundbreaking discovery: a distant exoplanet, K2-18b, showed signs of dimethyl sulphide. A chemical that, on Earth, is only produced by life. The media went wild with the news that we had finally found a "fart planet," the first real biosignature of alien life. But then, as quickly as it appeared, the confidence began to fade.Join Tristan and Scott as they investigate what really happened with the planet of alien farts. First, they dive into the incredible science of how we study distant worlds, from the mind-bending coolness of transit spectroscopy to the statistical nitty-gritty of "three sigma" confidence. Then, they pull back the curtain on the systemic pressures that create these cycles of hype and retraction, exploring everything from the "publish or perish" culture in academia to the perverse incentives that cause university press offices to overstate research. This isn't just a story about a potential discovery; it's a crucial lesson in scientific literacy and a look at how the messy, brilliant, and deeply human process of science actually works.Stuff mentioned in the episode:K2-18bJames Webb Space Telescope (JWST)Cambridge University's original press release about the discoveryDimethyl sulfideThe MIRI (Mid-Infrared Instrument) on JWSTTransit spectroscopyThe COLd Scale (Confidence of Life Detection scale) from NASAPhosphine on Venus controversy'OumuamuaALH84001 (Martian meteorite)The Wow! SignalDrake EquationPathological scienceAndrew Wakefield vaccine studyPolywaterCold fusionN-rays (1903)Science communication outlets mentioned: The Conversation, Science X, Tech Explore, Medical Xpress, Phys.orgSodium vapor process (Mary Poppins special effects)Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:41:12
Corrections: We Are The Liberal Joe Rogan Now
To kick off the new season, Scott and Tristan uphold their sacred tradition: correcting all the things they've gotten wrong. What begins as a simple corrections episode quickly spirals into a sprawling conversation about the Canada-U.S. relationship, the strategic importance of maple syrup, and a revolutionary new food group known as "pickle fries." The hosts also tackle more serious topics, including a historical correction on the Trail of Tears, a powerful submission from a caregiver about the dangerous overlap between conspiracy theories and schizophrenia, and the Mormon belief in a holy city that was literally taken up into heaven. Also, they finally settle the score on the correct pronunciation of a certain Starbucks drink.Links to stuff Mentioned:Charlie Angus (Canadian politician mentioned)The Great Canadian Maple Syrup HeistAkira (anime film)Ghost in the ShellPatlabor 2Spriggan (Netflix anime)Mars Express (French animated film)Nathan For YouIWW (Industrial Workers of the World/Wobblies)The Long Walk of the NavajoTreaty of Guadalupe HidalgoGet new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:02:01
The One Where We Finally Talk About Garrus
Join Scott and Tristan for a chaotic post-season Q&A where they tackle everything from their favourite fictional aliens to conspiracy theories they almost believed. Get ready for tangents into video games, surprising revelations about research rabbit holes, and an unexpectedly passionate debate about the correct pronunciation of poutine. This episode features questions from our space potato supporters and includes multiple bits about Muppets because, apparently, that's where we're at now. Plus, there is the truth about why we disappeared for four months (spoiler: we just forgot to tell anyone we were taking a break).Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Was Earth really visited by mysterious extraterrestrial travelers thousands of years ago as many proponents of ”ancient astronaut theory” believe? What are the hidden secrets and mysteries behind ancient monuments and forgotten civilizations?
Every week, historian Tristan Johnson and regular human person Scott Niswander dive through the archives to learn about the fascinating histories of ancient civilizations while also debunking the myths and straight-up lies presented in History Channel‘s massively popular tv show Ancient Aliens that has sparked a new generation of conspiracy theorists. We hope through this show, you can gain an appreciation for just how cool ancient societies were, and not simply credit their impressive advancements to alien visitors.
NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEK! Follow the show so you don‘t miss an episode, and leave us a review! It really helps us out!
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