IVF DADDIES

What happens when a non-profit succeeds so completely that it stops being charity and becomes infrastructure?
In this episode of IVF Daddies, we sit down with Ron Poole-Dayan, founder of Men Having Babies, to examine how gay fatherhood moved from legal impossibility to corporate policy, insurance coverage, and international debate, and what it actually costs to change a system at scale.
This is not a feel-good conversation about surrogacy.
It is a systems-level discussion about power, ethics, money, advocacy, and the uncomfortable reality that any non-profit operating near medicine, law, and vulnerable populations eventually becomes a gatekeeper.
We explore:
Why redefining infertility as a social status changed insurance law

How workplace benefits quietly replaced litigation

Why ethical standards create both protection and exclusion

Why the goal of real advocacy is to make itself unnecessary

This episode matters now, especially in Europe, as debates around surrogacy, cross-border family building, and regulation intensify ahead of major community and policy conversations in Brussels.
If you care about family, ethics, systems, and how change actually happens, this conversation is for you.
We’re releasing this episode as we head to Brussels on the 7th to engage directly with families, advocates, and institutions navigating the next phase of family-building infrastructure in Europe.
This conversation is not about defending one organization.
It is about understanding how social change actually works, and why every mature movement eventually faces scrutiny not for failing, but for succeeding.
If you want elite parenting to be boring, protected, and normal, this is the price.
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Why Men Having Babies Exists02:48 Financial Assistance and Industry Proximity05:41 Advocacy, Law, and Institutional Power08:22 Redefining Infertility, Medical vs Social Status10:48 Workplace Benefits and Corporate Policy13:35 Cultural Blind Spots Around Male Parenthood16:18 How Surrogacy Evolved and Why It’s Contested19:01 When Advocacy Becomes Infrastructure
Men Having Babies, Official Site
https://menhavingbabies.org
Men Having Babies, GPAP Financial Assistance
https://menhavingbabies.org/gpap
IVF Daddies
https://ivfdaddies.com
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Instagram, https://instagram.com/ivfdaddies
YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/@IVFDaddies
This episode is relevant to:
Surrogacy ethics

LGBTQ+ parenting

Non-profit governance

Insurance coverage and infertility law

Workplace family benefits

European surrogacy regulation

Family-building infrastructure

Reproductive justice and institutional power

What if some of the most damaging IVF advice women hear doesn’t come from social media, but from oversimplified medical reassurance and pop-culture fertility narratives?
In this episode of IVF Daddies, Richard Westoby sits down with reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Brooke Freeman to unpack one of the most misunderstood and quietly harmful fertility myths:
“You have time.”
We break down why markers like AMH measure egg quantity, not quality, why age still matters biologically no matter how “good” your numbers look, and why being told you can wait in your 40s often leads to irreversible loss of options.
Dr. Freeman explains:
Why egg freezing and IVF are tools, not guarantees

Why “it only takes one” is true, but dangerously incomplete

How false reassurance creates false hope

Why celebrities and TV shows distort fertility expectations by leaving out donor eggs and embryo freezing

And why context matters more than comfort when people are making life-defining decisions

This episode is not medical advice.
It’s not about blaming doctors.
And it’s not about scaring people.
It’s about telling the truth with clarity, before time runs out.
If you’ve ever felt confused by fertility advice, pressured by age, or misled by success stories that don’t tell the whole story, this conversation is for you.

Chapters
00:00 Understanding Egg Freezing and Fertility
02:38 The Reality of IVF and Age Factors
05:51 The Importance of Accurate Medical Advice
08:29 Empowering Women in Fertility Choices

The KardashiansKim KardashianJanet Jackson
All's Fair
CULTURE CONTEXT DISCUSSED

Trying to build a family is hard. Doing it without a clear legal framework makes everything heavier.
In this episode of IVF Daddies, we share what it really means to try to become parents in the Netherlands — a system filled with uncertainty, legal grey zones, and no clear roadmap for families like ours.
We talk openly about loss, grief, and the emotional toll of repeated setbacks. About failed attempts and unexpected moments of hope. About how grief shows up in ways you don’t always recognise at first — and how you keep going when there are no guarantees, medically, legally, or emotionally.
This isn’t a polished success story. It’s a firsthand account of what happens when the system doesn’t reflect your reality, but the desire to become parents doesn’t disappear.
If you’ve ever faced barriers created by laws, institutions, or circumstances beyond your control — and still had to find a way forward — this conversation is for you.
Real talk for real families. No rulebook. Just honesty.

CHAPTERS:
00:00 Why We Wanted a Family
02:20 When the First Plan Didn’t Work
05:22 Trying Different Paths
07:45 Emotional Highs and Lows
10:13 Finding Support
12:49 Moments of Hope
15:17 Facing Setbacks
17:11 Processing Loss
18:59 Choosing to Continue
21:32 Trust and Connection
23:48 Sharing Our Story
25:50 Navigating Complex Rules
27:34 Waiting and Uncertainty
30:48 The Day Everything Changed
34:06 Talking About It as a Family

IVF, surrogacy, and family building are not niche medical topics, they are public health issues. When access breaks down, misinformation spreads, and trust in medicine erodes, the impact reaches far beyond individual patients.
In this episode of the IVF Daddies Podcast, Julio Gaggia speaks with Demetre C. Daskalakis, physician and public health leader with deep experience in community-based care and health equity. Drawing from frontline work in LGBTQ healthcare and public health systems, this conversation examines how political pressure, structural failures, and medical misinformation are reshaping reproductive healthcare.
This episode explores:
Why IVF and surrogacy access should be treated as public health infrastructure

How misinformation damages clinician–patient trust

The ethical burden placed on healthcare providers

Why LGBTQ families are disproportionately affected by system failures

How community-based public health models restore care and accountability

Rather than framing fertility as a personal or consumer problem, this discussion positions family creation as a population-level health issue — shaped by policy, ethics, access, and trust.
This episode is essential listening for:
Intended parents navigating IVF or surrogacy

Clinicians and healthcare professionals

Policymakers and public health leaders

Anyone concerned with reproductive rights, health equity, and ethical care

Key takeaway:
When reproductive healthcare fails, families don’t just struggle individually — public health fails collectively.
00:00 — The Current State of Public Health03:02 — Science, Misinformation, and Public Trust05:30 — Ethical Courage in Medicine08:23 — The Growing Burden on Clinicians11:20 — Family Creation as a Public Health Concern13:54 — How Public Health Systems Regressed16:47 — Community-Based Care as a Solution19:35 — Lessons from Recent Public Health Crises22:21 — Building a More Resilient Healthcare Future
IVF costs & access: https://ivfdaddies.com/costsListen to more episodes: https://ivfdaddies.com/episodesShare lived experience anonymously: https://ivfdaddies.com/confessionsSubscribe to the newsletter: https://ivfdaddies.com/#newsletter
IVF Daddies connects reproductive medicine, public health, and real family experiences — with clarity, accountability, and zero spin.
ChaptersResources & Links

All's Fair: What happens when reality TV finally touches the part of IVF nobody wants to talk about — the embryos, the consent, and what happens in a divorce?
Kim Kardashian opened a door. Ryan Murphy kicked it wider.
But ALL’S FAIR just did something rare: they made mainstream America confront the emotional and legal reality of IVF and surrogacy.
And today, we’re going deeper.
This episode breaks down what actually happens when you create embryos…

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to IVF and Reality TV
02:39 Understanding Consent in Embryo Transfer
05:31 The Reality of Embryo Transfer Procedures
08:19 Personal Experiences with Embryo Custody
11:22 Fertility Preservation and Its Complexities

what happens when you separate…
and why consent isn’t “drama” — it’s the entire foundation of reproductive autonomy.
Dr. Brooke Freeman and Richard Westoby unpack the real stakes behind the headlines:
frozen embryos, custody battles, fertility preservation, and the part reality TV never explains — the emotional weight of “The finality of that is hard.”
If you care about reproductive freedom, family building, or the future of IVF… this conversation will change the way you watch reality TV forever. HUGE THANKS to Ryan Murphy (a dad via surrogacy himself!) for producing content that opens up the essential global conversation about Reproductive Health and family building.