IVF DADDIES

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You've done the research. You've read the blogs. But there's a specific moment in the IVF journey that almost every gay man gets blindsided by and it's not the one you think.
Dr. Michael Gornaccia of New England Fertility Institute has spent over 30 years helping LGBTQ families build through surrogacy, egg donation, and IVF. In this episode, he walks through the real timeline, the part of the process that costs the most time, what the 2am anxiety is actually about, and why one in-person visit to Connecticut might be the only thing standing between you and your embryos.
If you're building your family from abroad, EU, UK, Asia, this one's for you.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction: who is Dr. G?01:03 The first thing your doctor needs to know before anything else03:18 HIV-positive fathers: the Beacon Institute process explained06:25 The male screening visit: what happens and why you cannot skip it09:29 Egg donation: clinic bank vs. private agency, real difference in timing13:01 When both partners want to use their genetics17:21 Second cycles: not uncommon, not the end20:25 The 2am anxiety moment everyone experiences and nobody warns you about22:18 What surprises patients most and why internet stats will gaslight you26:18 LGBTQ families vs. heterosexual couples: the grief nobody talks about30:06 HIV-positive dads: what to know if you are scared to ask31:04 Adoption as a valid path: patient autonomy in practice31:50 Final advice: the one thing to do when you are up at midnight
New England Fertility Institute: https://www.nefertility.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nefertility/Men Having Babies: menhavingbabies.orgBeacon Institute (HIV sperm processing)

"The biggest time factor in this whole journey isn't the medical process. It's finding a surrogate." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"A lot of LGBTQ patients tell me: I never thought when I was growing up that I'd be able to have a family. That grief is real, even when everything is going well." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"The two-and-a-half week wait while we test the embryos. That's when everyone panics. Every single patient. And it's completely normal." Dr. Michael Gornaccia, New England Fertility Institute
"In IVF, women go through hormones and medication. Men go through paperwork and waiting." Julio, IVF Daddies

Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.
Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Parenthood Journey
01:16 The Emotional Growth of Becoming a Parent
03:21 Experiences as an Au Pair and Changing Perspectives
05:02 Support Systems in Same-Sex Parenting
09:31 Balancing Organization and Creativity in Parenting
13:38 Trusting Professionals in the Surrogacy Process
16:34 The Role of the Surrogate and Building Relationships
20:34 Navigating the Surrogacy Process
23:19 Patience and Emotional Challenges in Surrogacy
25:44 Public Life and Private Struggles
28:20 Positivity in the Face of Adversity
30:46 Education Through Visibility and Love
32:57 Conclusion and Hope for Future Parents

Candy Crash spent 25 years believing she was not allowed to want a family. Ten weeks ago, she became a dad.
One of Germany's biggest drag queens, a graphic designer, a YouTuber, and now a parent through surrogacy in the US, Candy joins Julio and Richard for one of the most honest conversations this podcast has ever had about what the surrogacy journey actually feels like from the inside.
Not the process. The feeling. The waiting. The grief of finding out one embryo took instead of two. The surrogate who was shy on the first call and offered to carry again before the baby was even born. The moment you realize the most important project of your life depends entirely on trusting people you have never met.
Candy also talks about going public on social media as a queer parent, why she fights hate with education instead of anger, and the messages she gets from strangers who watched her journey and quietly changed their minds.
If you have ever wondered whether a family like this is possible for someone like you, this episode is the answer.
Guest: Candy Crash, drag queen, content creator, Hollywood Mom podcast host, and new dad.Instagram: @thecandycrashPodcast: Hollywood Mom on Spotify
Keywords: surrogacy, gay dads, queer parenting, LGBTQ family, surrogacy journey, drag queen, intended parents, IVF, trust, visibility, queer family, same sex parents, surrogacy process, gay surrogacy, becoming a dad

Most people start this journey knowing the cost. Nobody warns them about everything else.

Katy Encalade has been a surrogate herself. Now she runs one of the most respected egg donation and surrogacy agencies in the US. This conversation is the one most intended parents wish they had before they started.

What you will actually hear in this episode:

Why two years is the real timeline and why anyone who tells you less is setting you up to fail.
Why an agency that says they have plenty of surrogates available should make you stop and ask harder questions.
Why obsessing over genetics in your egg donor search might mean you are missing the question that actually determines your outcome.
Why the match matters more than the speed. Every time.
Why the families who struggle most are the ones who were told what they wanted to hear.

This is not a hope conversation. This is a preparation conversation.

If you are at the beginning of this journey or stuck somewhere in the middle, this episode gives you language for what you are actually going through.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
02:58 Understanding the Egg Donation Process
05:38 Navigating the Surrogacy Journey
08:33 The Importance of Patience
11:29 Matching with Egg Donors and Surrogates
14:15 Financial Aspects of Surrogacy
16:50 Red Flags and Green Flags in Agencies
19:21 Feeling Alone in the Journey
22:01 Simplifying the Process

CONNECT WITH KATY ENCALADE
Website: https://createahappyfamily.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createahappyfamily
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/katyencalade

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

The legal ground under surrogacy is shifting. For once it is shifting in your favor.

If you are LGBTQ+ and you have been quietly terrified about what this administration means for your family, this is the episode that answers it directly. No vague reassurances. No spin. Just a fertility attorney with 15 years in reproductive law telling you exactly where you stand.

What this episode covers:

Michigan just passed surrogacy legislation. Here is what it actually does.
Why a court ordered judgment protects your parental rights in ways a birth record cannot.
Why California is about to raise the standard for every other state.
Can you get a California court order and use it in Arizona. The answer will surprise you.
Once you have a judgment, nobody can take it away. Here is the constitutional reason why.
Why LGBTQ+ parents specifically need a judgment not just a birth record.
Whether the federal government can roll back your parental rights. Brian explains why the answer is no.

This is the episode you forward to the person who just asked you: is this still safe to do?

The answer is yes. After this episode you will know exactly why.

CHAPTERS
00:00 The Headlines Are Wrong: The Positive Legal Changes Nobody Is Talking About
02:08 Michigan Just Changed Everything: What the New Law Actually Does
02:59 Meet Brian: 15 Years in Fertility Law
04:36 Can You Get a California Court Order and Use It in Arizona
06:04 Why LGBTQ+ Parents Need a Judgment Not Just a Birth Record
07:02 Will the Federal Government Roll Back Your Parental Rights
07:51 Once You Have a Judgment Nobody Can Take It Away
08:12 The Constitutional Principle That Protects You Across State Lines
09:30 Is the Surrogate Ever on the Birth Certificate
10:37 What California Collects and Why It Never Appears on Your Child's Record
11:55 Michigan Birth Certificates: What Comes Next

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.

Your embryo grade is not what you think it is.

Embryologist Emanuela Molinari has spent her career inside the lab watching families make critical decisions based on information they do not fully understand. This episode fixes that.

What you will actually learn:

Why two clinics can look at the same embryo and give you completely different grades.
Why a perfect grade does not guarantee a pregnancy and a low grade does not mean failure.
Why sperm is half of this equation and why almost nobody is testing it properly.
What DNA fragmentation is, why it matters, and when to test for it.
Why some clinics still transfer on day 3 and what that decision is really based on.
What blastocyst development actually tells you versus what clinics imply it tells you.
What PGT genetic testing is genuinely useful for and what it cannot do.
How age affects chromosome errors in ways that grading will never show you.

If you are going through IVF, just starting, or trying to understand results that don't make sense, this episode gives you the questions your clinic is not asking you to ask.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Why embryo grading confuses people
02:30 What you are actually seeing in an embryo
05:30 Why grading is subjective
09:00 The role of sperm in IVF
13:00 DNA fragmentation explained
17:00 What blastocyst development really means
21:00 Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer
25:00 Genetic testing without the hype
30:00 Age and embryo viability
35:00 What patients should actually focus on

CONNECT WITH EMANUELA MOLINARI
Website: https://eggstraordinaryembryo.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eggstraordinary_embryo

Listening in a browser? Open this in the Spotify app and hit follow. That is the only way Spotify tells you when new episodes land. No clinic deals. No referral fees. No false hope. IVF Daddies is the independent reference system for IVF, surrogacy and egg donation.