Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect

Silence can feel polite, but it can also be lethal. We sit down with Heather Rose and talk about the subjects many families tiptoe around: bullying, suicide, miscarriage, and the messy reality of living with trauma while still needing to show up for the people you love.

Heather shares her personal story with a rare mix of honesty and practicality, from being bullied as a teen to surviving a suicide attempt, and from enduring repeated pregnancy loss to rebuilding her self-worth. We explore why simply saying the word “suicide” matters, why the question “Are you OK?” can open a life-saving door, and how creating a safe space to talk reduces shame instead of “putting ideas in someone’s head.” If you care about mental health, suicide prevention, PTSD, or supporting teenagers through tough emotions, you’ll find grounded insight here.

We also dig into parenting and advocacy for neurodivergent young people. Heather explains the long fight to secure ADHD and autism support for her son Isaac, what happened when schools misunderstood his needs, and the practical tools that helped him regulate emotions and regain confidence: mindfulness, affirmations, and journaling. That journey led to resources for other families and to Heather’s podcast, The Truth After Baby Loss, where she opens up conversations about grief, identity, partner dynamics, and the lack of support many people face after miscarriage.
You can find out more about Heather at www.heatherrose.uk

If this resonates, share the episode with someone who needs a safer way to start a hard conversation, and please subscribe and leave a review so more listeners can find it.
Resources & support (UK)
Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)
PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141
 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com
 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

Grief is not one feeling, it is a total rewrite of your life, your body, and your relationships. We’re joined by Clare, someone who has lived through multiple devastating losses, including the sudden death of her mum from rare gallbladder cancer and the death of her seven-year-old daughter Annaliese after sepsis was not picked up in time. Clare speaks with honesty about shock, anger, brain fog that feels like injury, and the brutal “what could I have done differently?” loop that often returns around anniversaries. 

We also talk about what happens inside a partnership when two people grieve in completely different ways. Clare and Matt’s story is a grounded look at marriage after bereavement: learning acceptance, dropping expectations, and finding other safe people when your partner cannot “hold” you in the way you hoped. Clare explains what it means to live alongside grief, how memory can feel warming as well as crushing, and why saying a loved one’s name matters more than most people realise. 

If you’ve ever searched for grief support, help for bereaved parents, or how to support someone after a death, you’ll come away with practical ideas that actually land: specific check-ins, small gestures, showing up consistently, and making space for the hard days. Clare also shares the community she’s found through The Compassionate Friends and her book “And Always Annaliese,” written for both bereaved parents and the people trying to care for them. 

Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations, and tell us in the comments: what kind of support helped you most when grief hit?
You can visit Clare's website - www.andalwaysannaliese.com and you can find Compassionate Friends here - https://www.tcf.org.uk
Resources & support (UK)
Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)
PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141
 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com
 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

The fastest way to ruin a difficult conversation is to believe you can control the other person. We talk through what actually happens in the mind and body when stress hits, and why grief, loss, change, and fear can flip us from logical thinking into a reactive emotional state in seconds.

Drawing on experience as a hostage and crisis negotiator, we share three practical lessons that show up everywhere: crisis is part of life and often comes with real or perceived loss; loneliness can creep in even when you are not alone, especially in parenting and leadership; and everyone carries a deeper story under the “safe” small talk. Once you see those dynamics, conflict feels less personal and more predictable, which makes it easier to handle with care.

We also unpack a tool you can use immediately for emotional regulation and conflict management: noticing your physical trigger signs, then applying the 90-second rule to create space between stimulus and response. Sometimes the smartest move is a clean pause, a walk away, or a simple “I’m going to put the kettle on” break so you can come back with your best self, not your most defensive self.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with someone who is navigating a hard conversation, and leave a review so more people can find these practical crisis communication skills. What physical sign tells you you’re about to react?
Resources & support (UK)
Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)
PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141
 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com
 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

One morning can split your life in two. Todd joined me to tell the story he carried for years: finding his girlfriend Karen after she died by suicide on New Year’s Day, and the shock that followed him into everything that came next. What he shares is confronting at times, but it’s also deeply human and, for many listeners, reassuring in the most unexpected way: the feelings you’re struggling to name often have a reason. 

We talk about how grief and trauma can push you toward avoidance that looks like “coping” from the outside. Todd walks us through the months after the loss, the drinking that crept earlier into the day, and the high-risk choices that made him feel less, even as they made his world more dangerous. When he moved into undercover police work, the new identity offered escape and adrenaline, but it also delayed the pain and reinforced a fight-first mindset that’s hard to switch off. If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem fine for years and then suddenly unravel, this conversation lays out that slow build with brutal clarity. 

Then we turn toward recovery and first responder mental health in practical terms: leaving shift work, getting sleep and nutrition back to basics, and learning through a sleep specialist that a brain can stay in fight-or-flight all night even with “good” hours in bed. We also dig into why telling the truth and writing his book helped Todd and why it created a safe space for others to finally speak. If any part of this resonates, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review so more people can find the support they’ve been missing.
Resources & support (UK)
Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)
PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141
 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com
 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk

The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible. 

I’m joined by Kelly Edmondson, a trauma ICU nurse from Ohio who spent decades caring for people in crisis, until she became the one who needed care. After her son Darius, who lived with epilepsy, died unexpectedly in his sleep, Kelly saw how loud the silence can be in the weeks and months after the funeral. She explains why people avoid grief conversations, why “I don’t want to remind them” is a myth, and how a simple message can carry real weight: “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” 

We also dig into practical grief support that actually helps, especially around anniversaries of death, birthdays, Mother’s Day and the holidays. Kelly shares how Timely Presence delivers personalized memorial gifts on the days research shows are most difficult, and why light-filled items like sun catchers and candles can help someone feel seen without trying to fix the unfixable. For anyone navigating bereavement, we talk about the physiological impact of loss and concrete steps like sleep, small high-protein meals, fresh air, sunlight and new rituals that gently reframe triggering dates. 

If you know someone who’s grieving, or you’re trying to find your way forward after loss, listen, share it with a friend, and subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation. If it resonates, please leave a review and tell us what supportive phrase you wish you’d heard most.
Resources & support (UK)
Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7)
PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK (under 35s): 0800 068 4141
 Explore more tools & training:
 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com
 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk