Love Life With Matthew Hussey

What if the reason your heartbreak isn’t getting better isn’t because you haven’t tried hard enough to move on, but because there’s a part of it you still haven’t allowed yourself to feel?

I recently sat down with David Kessler, one of the world’s leading experts on grief, and something he said stopped me in my tracks: “You don’t have a broken mind. You have a broken heart.”

We spend so much time trying to think our way out of heartbreak. We compare our pain to other people’s. We distract ourselves. We turn sadness into anger. We tell ourselves we should be over it by now. But underneath all of that may be grief we’ve never really attended to.

And I know that because, during this conversation, David helped me recognize some of my own.

In this episode, we talk about why heartbreak is a form of grief, what anger may actually be protecting us from, and why avoiding painful emotions can sometimes keep us stuck in them for much longer.

Most importantly, we talk about what it looks like to actually show up for yourself in those moments with more compassion and a kinder internal voice.

You may not be able to change what broke your heart. But you can change how you meet yourself in the pain that follows.

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►► Want to Feel More in Control of How You Respond to Difficult Emotions? Join Me for The CALM Process, LIVE Online September 29–October 1: 3DayCalm.com
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Have you ever noticed that the moment someone starts pulling away, you suddenly want them more?

Maybe they’re taking longer to reply. Their texts are getting shorter. Or they haven’t made plans to see you again. Nothing has actually happened, but you can feel that something has changed.

And suddenly, someone you were still figuring out becomes the person you can’t stop thinking about.

Before you know it, the question has changed from “Do I actually want this person?” to “How do I get them to want me again?”

Why does that shift happen? And why can not knowing where you stand feel even more painful than being rejected?

In this week’s video, I break down what’s really happening in these moments, and I sit down with Gabby Bernstein to talk about why distance can trigger such an intense reaction in us, and how to stop it from taking over.

Because sometimes, the person pulling away isn’t the real reason it hurts this much.

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Have you ever realized that you’re the one keeping a relationship alive?

You’re the one who reaches out. The one who checks in. The one who remembers, helps, gives, and shows up. And after a while, instead of feeling generous, you start feeling resentful.

We often think the answer is to get the other person to give more. But what happens when they don’t?

In this episode, I talk about why sometimes the only way to stop the resentment is to start giving less—and why doing that can be much harder than it sounds. Because when you stop propping up a relationship, you may discover just how much of it was being held together by you.

And then comes the part we don’t talk about enough: the guilt of pulling back, the fear of losing someone you love, and the grief of realizing the relationship may never be what you hoped it was.

Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or someone else you love deeply, this episode is about finding a new way to love someone without constantly draining yourself to keep the relationship going.

►► ►► Take Back Control When Your Emotions Take Over. Join Me LIVE Online for The CALM Process, My 3-Day Experience (September 29–October 1): 3DayCalm.com
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There are small things we do in the early stages of dating that can have a surprisingly big impact on how someone sees us, and on the kind of relationship we end up creating with them.

Sometimes we’re so focused on whether someone likes us that we don’t stop to think about the tone we’re setting. Are we showing them what we value? Are we making it too easy for the relationship to exist entirely on their terms? Are we communicating what we want without even realizing it?

In this episode, I’m giving you 13 practical ways to be taken more seriously by someone you’re dating. Some are incredibly subtle, but they can change the entire dynamic. And I won’t just tell you what to do: I’ll explain the psychology behind each one and give you specific examples and texts you can adapt to your own situation.

Because what you establish in the beginning can follow you throughout an entire relationship. Get this part right, and you give yourself a much better chance of building something where you’re not simply hoping they choose you; you’re finding out whether the two of you can actually build something together.

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►► Want to Change the Way You Show Up in Your Relationships? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat: MHRetreat.com
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Why can someone who treated you terribly still be so hard to get over?

You know they lied. You remember the manipulation, the gaslighting, and all the ways they made you question yourself. And yet, even after you leave, you can still find yourself replaying what happened, searching for answers, or wondering whether somehow you were the problem.

That’s because getting a narcissist out of your life and getting free from their effects are two very different things.

In this week’s episode, I break down three of the biggest traps that can keep us emotionally tied to a narcissist long after the relationship ends, and what it actually takes to start getting your life back.

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►► Ready to Break the Patterns That Keep You Stuck With the Wrong People? Join Me at the Matthew Hussey Retreat MHRetreat.com
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