Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug

Ask Rachel anything
For all of the tips click here:
https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/p/how-to-talk-to-your-teen-about-body
A healthy body image: Feeling happy and satisfied with your body and what it can do. 
An unhealthy body image: Highly self-critical, comparing their body to others and obsessing about some aspect of it. 
Beauty and body image are universal triggers for shame. Shame is a deeply painful sensation from the belief that we’re not good enough and will not be accepted by a group.
Only 5% of American women have the body type that advertising depicts as ideal. People magazine poll found that 80% of women respondents felt insecure when they viewed images of women in TV and films. There’s an entire industry fueling our negative feelings regarding body image.
Resources:
https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/healthy-lifestyle/body-image/body-image-teens
The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor 
I Thought it was just me by Brené Brown
Previous episode:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/104-teen-weight-and-body-image-a-mother-and-daughter-explore-the-issues/
Chores: 
Household duties develop a sense of purpose. Lack of purpose is one of the most reported problems in suicidal people. Teens are capable of doing practically any household duty and gives them a sense of belonging to the family team.
The Gift of Failure Jessica Lahey: Children prefer parents who hold them responsible for not meeting expectations over those who monitor their children. 
teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything
For the full explanation click this link to my Substack:
https://substack.com/@teenagersuntangled/note/p-187427201?r=2u24i0&utm_source=notes-share-action&utm_medium=web
Old episodes on manners:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/empty-nest-how-to-cope-when-your-teen-moves-out-also-manners-what-are-they-and-what-should-we-te/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/manners-parenting-to-help-teens-succeed-in-life-by-teaching-the-importance-of-good-manners/
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything
'Early adolescence is a friendship meat grinder, and your kid will eventually find their people,' according to Megan Saxelby of Wild Feelings. But oh boy it's tough!  
Megan wants parents to know that using words like “dramatic” to describe genuine social pain can accidentally give us permission to dismiss their emotional reality and teach our kids that their experiences doesn’t deserve to be taken seriously.
In today’s episode we explore why it hurts so much to watch our child struggle socially, and why our instincts to either dismiss or ‘fix things’ can often make it worse.
The good news is that there’s new research, by the eminent Dr David Yeager, that shows there’s one thing our kids can learn that can reduce depression in teens by nearly 40%.
We hear the details and some great tips for us parents on the frontline.
Megan Saxelby:
https://wildfeelings.substack.com/ 
Rachel's Substack:
https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/
The Study:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s44220-022-00009-5
This is such a big topic I have created a lot of content to cover it:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/boy-friendships-and-supporting-our-sons-in-forming-positive-friendships-also-what-the-we-sho-1/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/puberty-toxic-friendships-pick-me-girls-top-tips-for-parenting-teenagers-from-teenagers-147/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/top-friendship-tips-for-teen-girls-lessons-from-real-life-sisters/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/139-preparing-for-secondary-school-friendship-groups-and-those-awkward-talks-about-porn-and-sexti/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/friendship-girls-and-toxic-groups-also-resilience-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-g/
teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything
Come and join the community! 
https://substack.com/@teenagersuntangled
I watched my daughter switch to a new laptop and melt down; not because she couldn’t learn, but because she didn’t have the bandwidth. 
And it hit me: we can cope well with change when we are relaxed and don’t have too much on our plates, but when we are working at the limits of our abilities change can feel overwhelming. 
It’s easy to think that our brains like to work, but solving problems takes huge amounts of energy so our brains are actually designed to create habits as quickly as possible to reduce the loss of precious resources. 
My daugter’s experience made me think about how we rely on small habits the way we rely on hotkeys. When we lose them, everything feels harder, when we build them into everyday family life they can actively reduce our stress and improve our connection.
So this week my suggestion is to think about your routines; not rigid ones that you use to beat yourself up about (the should version) but anchors and hotkeys.
Here are 4 ideas that can make family life calmer:
Micro-habits that smooth the day, having a bowl where everyone puts their keys, reinforcing the small habits like putting the milk back in the fridge.
A regular “we come together” moment during the week; whether it’s Sunday lunch, or Saturday morning brunch, elevenses, ‘film Friday’ or supper time.
Being clear that dinner isn’t just a time when we eat, it’s a way to share our lives and our space.
If the way you like to do things doesn’t seem to work for your teen try something different that might better fit their brain
What anchors do you use in your household? I’d LOVE to hear your suggestions and tips.
Old episode about reducing nagging using habits:
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/nagging-reducing-the-friction-using-the-magic-of-routine/
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anything
We want our kids to do as well as possible, so when they mess up, do dumb things, or seem to be failing, it's easy to focus on their mistakes and what they should do instead. 
Naomi Glover, a leading applied neuroscientist and brain health specialist, says we'd get the best out of our kids by doing the opposite; focusing on their strengths.
Coming from a  neurodivergent family, she truly understands the challenges faced by ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurotypes and offers practical, easy-to-use “brain hacks” for things like anxiety, focus, and emotional regulation.
Naomi believes that once we understand how our brain works, we can work with it—not against it this episode gives us those tips.
Naomi Glover:
https://neuro-informed.com
Find your strengths:
PARENTS: 
https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/pro/parentingstrengths/account/register
UNDER 18'S: https://StrengthBoostU18.pro.viasurvey.org/
Top tips:
Lead with strengths, not deficitsRegularly name what your teen does well (kindness, perseverance, curiosity, humour, etc.) instead of only correcting what’s missing.

Swap judgment for curiosityUse phrases like “I noticed…”, “Tell me more about what happened”, and “What could we do differently next time?” to keep conversations safe and open.

Use recognition as rocket fuel (especially with ADHD/RSD)Give specific, genuine praise:“That was really kind leadership when you…”
“I really appreciated you helping with the washing up – that was great teamwork.”

Reduce brain overload with routines and single-taskingBuild simple, predictable habits (e.g. “Saturday is bed-linen day”).
Avoid multitasking; do one thing at a time and protect focus where possible.

Teach nervous-system resetsUse quick tools for you and your teen:Breathing: in for 4, out for 8, 3–5 times.
Nature breaks: ~20 minutes outside to reset attention and mood.

teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Support the show
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.
You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk