You Make Sense

• Procrastination and Self-Sabotage: Understanding Self-Protective Behaviors

  There can be so much shame around the ways we procrastinate and self-sabotage. But these behaviors aren’t just “bad habits” — they’re actually forms of self-protection. In this episode, Sarah uncovers the hidden roles our nervous system and parts play in keeping us stuck around the things we desire most. You’ll learn how to work with your nervous system and parts, rather than against them, using practical somatic tools to help shift these patterns. Plus, Sarah answers listener questions on discipline, self-care, and why some of us freeze when it comes to responding to text messages, emails, and other correspondence. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of avoidance and frustration, this episode will show you why it makes so much sense.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:42 Self-Sabotage Is a Form of Self-Protection03:30 Understanding the Experience of Procastination09:10 The Habitual Process of Procastination14:09 Why Do We Self Sabotage?17:41 Protective Parts at Work When We Self Sabotage19:31 How to Befriend Your Nervous System27:53 “Why Can’t I Stay Disciplined?”41:31 “Why Do I Feel So Much Resistance Around Self-Care?”50:48 “Why Do I Struggle to Respond to People?”53:53 Relationships Are About Messiness Join the NEW 2-Day Live Experience:Feel overwhelmed by conflict in your relationships? Get ready for tangible, science-backed tools inside Mastering Conflict: The Art of Turning Conflict into Connection. The two-day live experience is co-hosted by Sarah and licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharoan.Only $27 with replays available for a limited time.bit.ly/sp-masteringconflictConnect with Sarah on:Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastContact Us:Have questions? Want to let us know how you’re liking the podcast? Reach out to Sarah’s support team at [email protected]. Important Keywords:Procrastination – The act of delaying or avoiding tasks, often due to underlying fears or protective mechanisms in the nervous system. Sarah explains that procrastination is not laziness but a way the body tries to keep us safe from perceived danger.“Self-Sabotage” - This term can often feel shaming, but it is simply a way our nervous system and parts protect us from what they don’t yet know is safe, often by pushing away or leaving things we might actually deeply desire.Autonomic Nervous System - The body’s internal network that controls responses to stimuli and regulates our experiences of safety, fear, and connection. In the context of self-sabotage, it drives automatic reactions based on past experiences stored in our internal "database."Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.Regulation - Regulation refers to the ability to maintain or return to a state of safety, presence, and connection within the nervous system. A regulated nervous system promotes calmness, focus, and the capacity to handle life's challenges effectively. Building regulation involves consistent neural exercises and creating disconfirming experiences that show your system it’s safe to come into a state of rest.Parts Work - A therapeutic process that involves connecting with and healing younger parts of yourself that hold onto past wounds. It’s a core tool for building internal safety and reshaping how you show up in relationships and life.

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• How to Set and Maintain Boundaries From a Somatic Perspective

  Do you struggle to know what kind of boundaries to set? Many of us are taught to intellectualize our approach to boundary setting, which can leave us feeling confused or overwhelmed. In this episode, Sarah explores the embodied nature of boundaries and why unresolved trauma can leave us setting self-protective boundaries that aren’t actually aligned with our highest truth.You’ll learn about three styles of boundary setting — diffuse, rigid, and embodied — and how to somatically begin coming back in contact with your truth. During the Q&A with Rachel, Sarah will also tackle real-life boundary challenges in work, relationships, and beyond. If you feel caught in cycles of over-giving, reflexively saying “yes” or “no,” or sacrificing your own needs, this episode will help you understand why — and how to create boundaries that truly serve you.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Introduction00:15 What Are Embodied Boundaries? 04:46 Why We Struggle With Boundaries09:22 Self-Protective Boundaries: Diffuse18:01 Self-Protective Boundaries: Rigid 25:01 Embodied Boundaries28:33 Steps to Begin Setting Embodied Boundaries35:17 Q&A Segment With Rachel 35:58 “Can I Stay in a High-Pressure Work Environment?”43:25 “How Can I Stop Over-Giving and Being Resentful?”56:20 “Am I Going Backward in My Healing Journey?”Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:Feeling stuck in any area of your life? Take Sarah’s quiz to learn more about the self-protective system inside you that’s often responsible for your stuckness—and how to harness its power to step toward the life you desire.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Embodied Boundaries –  A behavioral response that is rooted in one’s internal truth, limits, and needs. These boundaries are usually accessed when close to or in regulation and allow for deep levels of connectivity and autonomy.Self-Protective Boundaries – When we’ve experienced trauma or our truth was chronically taken away, we learn to adapt and set self-protective boundaries. These boundaries are typically rooted in survival or a younger part that is seeking safety.Diffuse Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “yes” response. Think of these as “Swiss cheese” boundaries, where it is a boundary of sorts but it is permeable.Rigid Boundaries – An adaptive, self-protective boundary associated with the reflexive “no” response. Think of these as “steel wall” boundaries, where nothing is able to permeate the boundary. Autonomic Nervous System: The self-protective system within the body that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, sensations, behaviors, and perception of self, others, and the world around us, as well as regulating involuntary functions, such as your heart rate and digestion, and playing a central role in how you react to stress or calm.

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  1:08:42
• Creating an Aligned Life and Finding Purpose in the Work You Do

  What if the work you do isn’t just a paycheck but a path to alignment and fulfillment? In this episode, Sarah breaks down how our nervous system influences career choices and why so many of us end up in survival-based jobs rather than roles that truly inspire us. She explores the impact being misaligned in our work has on our nervous system, relationships, health, and overall well-being.If you’ve ever felt like you’re meant for more, this episode will teach you how to step into a career (and life) that truly aligns with your gifts. You’ll learn how to create congruency in your current role, identify your true calling, and take tangible steps toward your desires. When you’re aligned with your purpose, it not only allows for deeper personal fulfillment — it also lights up the world around you.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:27 Choosing a Career or Job From Survival06:45 Human Beings Thrive When Purposeful08:39 Finding Your Unique Gifts11:03 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Relationships13:53 How Being Misaligned Impacts Our Health14:51 Tools For Becoming More Aligned22:50 Changing Your Role As You Heal25:12 Our Systems Deeply Desire Alignment26:47 Transitioning Careers and Finding Fulfillment 32:51 Work Environments Can Replicate Dynamics From Childhood37:55 Why Self-Like Parts Keep Us From Our Purpose  Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook: Want more science-backed tools? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel,” for actionable prompts and exercises to help you start feeling better on a daily basis.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Protective Parts - Protective parts are internal mechanisms (or versions of ourselves) developed to shield us from pain or harm, often formed during childhood. These parts use behaviors like perfectionism, overachievement, or avoidance to keep us safe from perceived threats. While they are well-intentioned, they can also keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns until their needs are addressed.Nervous System Regulation – Techniques and strategies used to calm and stabilize the nervous system. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down responses and into a balanced state of presence and connection.Internal Safety – The feeling of stability and security that comes from within, rather than external circumstances. Sarah emphasizes that without internal safety, change can feel terrifying or overwhelming for our system and parts, making it difficult to step into a fulfilling career.“Self-Like” Parts – These protective parts often sound like adult you but are in fact a protective part that is coming online to keep us safe. This often looks like self-doubt, avoidance, hesitation, retreating, or seemingly “rational” arguments that are based in fear.Alignment – The state of living in accordance or congruency with one’s purpose, values, and natural gifts. Sarah explains that when we are aligned with our work, it energizes us rather than drains us, creating a ripple effect of positive impact.Disconfirming Experiences – New, positive experiences that challenge and override old self-protective beliefs. For example, if it was unsafe in the past to use our voice, any time we tolerably step toward using our voice in the present, that is a disconfirming experience, showing our nervous system the past is over and it’s now safe to speak up.

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  46:10
• Family of Origin: Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics in Adulthood

  In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah dives into the complex layers of family dynamics, personal boundaries, and healing from past experiences. You'll learn how the dynamics within your family of origin created the roles you had to play, how those roles shape your adult relationships, and how to begin breaking free from those roles to step into your most fully-expressed self.Through personal insights and therapeutic wisdom, Sarah discusses why our family of origin often triggers or activates us the most—and why we often see our caregivers as an extension of ourselves. If you’ve ever dreaded going home or struggle to set boundaries with your family, this episode will equip you with the somatic tools necessary to release the pain of the past and move forward with more ease.Episode Highlights:00:00 Introduction 00:15 Why We Struggle with Our Family of Origin12:57 Becoming the Primary Parent to Your Parts22:45 Access Healthy Aggression 27:41 Finding Belonging Through Chosen Family30:58 Differentiating From Our Caregivers37:37 Creating Safety & Setting Boundaries49:40 Processing Recent Traumatic Experiences 56:58 Healing From AbuseConnect with Sarah on:Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Join the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.https://bit.ly/sp-ymsSubmit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast  Important Keywords:Family of Origin – The family system you were born into or raised in that shaped how you relate to others, your sense of belonging, and your identity. This dynamic then informs the way you show up in your adult life.Boundaries – Boundaries are not a cognitive process but a somatic one that is informed by our internal truth, limits, and needs. We are all born with an innate ability to know our internal truth, but many of us become disconnected from that truth as a result of trauma. Somatic Healing - Somatic healing focuses on addressing trauma and stress stored in the body, rather than just the mind. It involves practices that help release trapped activation/energy, regulate the nervous system, complete the incomplete response to trauma of the past, and reconnect with the physical self. Techniques like movement, touch, and breathwork are commonly used to support this healing process.Healthy Aggression - A term coined by Peter Levine, this is our lifeforce energy, which is needed to set boundaries, protect oneself, and assert personal needs. It’s also the energy that allows us to experience full aliveness, connection, wonder, and awe. When suppressed, it can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and even physical symptoms, but when expressed appropriately, it helps complete past emotional responses.

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  1:07:02
• Resolving Sleep Issues Through Nervous System Regulation

  If you’ve ever tossed and turned at night, wondering why you just can’t seem to get the rest you need, you’re not alone. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah Baldwin breaks down how insomnia, struggling to stay asleep, and other sleep disorders are often deeply connected to what’s happening in your nervous system.Sarah explains why stress, unresolved trauma, and even daily overwhelm can keep you stuck in fight-or-flight, making deep sleep and rest nearly impossible. From easy, science-backed strategies like movement and time in nature to simple bedtime routines and setting boundaries, this episode is packed with practical tools to help you experience better quality sleep.Episode Highlight:00:00 Intro00:35 Why Do We Struggle with Sleep?04:31 7 Things You Need to Achieve Deep Rest12:36 Effects of Chronic Lack of Sleep16:50 The Epidemic of Sleep Disorders21:24 3 Categories of Sleep Struggles30:02 Why Nervous System Regulation is Needed for Deep Sleep32:57 Creating a Nighttime Routine39:00 Finding Relief From Insomnia43:30 Unresolved Emotions or Grief Can Impact Sleep46:58 What To Do When You Wake Up During the Night    48:40 Setting Boundaries Around SleepJoin the 10-Week You Make Sense Course:Ready to go even deeper into somatic healing? Sarah’s 10-week live course, You Make Sense, is now open for enrollment. You’ll get tangible, science-backed tools to help you step toward the relationships, purpose, and life you desire.https://bit.ly/sp-ymsConnect with Sarah on:Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Nervous System Regulation – Techniques used to discharge activation and bring the nervous system back into a state of rest. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down response and into a balanced state of presence and connection.Dysregulation – A state of active self-protection where the nervous system perceives danger. This can either be caused by a real threat based in the present moment or stem from past trauma, danger, or hardship, causing our system to superimpose a past experience onto the present.Sympathetic Nervous System – When our system believes there is something we can do about the threat, it will send us into this mobilized state of dysregulation, often sometimes referred to as “fight or flight.” This is where we experience things like anxiety, terror, rage, panic, fear, agitation, or irritation.Freeze State – A blended state of dysregulation experienced as tonic immobility. It is made up of equal parts mobilizing sympathetic energy and immobilizing dorsal energy, rendering us stuck. This state of dysregulation can make it difficult to fall or stay asleep..Circadian Rhythm – The body’s internal clock that regulates sleep-wake cycles. Exposure to natural light in the morning and evening helps align this rhythm, making it easier to fall and stay asleep.Restorative Rest – True rest that recharges the nervous system, which is different from passive activities like watching TV or scrolling on your phone. Practices like meditation, sound baths, and deep breathing help bring the body into a relaxed state before sleep.

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