What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro01:23 1. The likability paradox 03:12 2. The paradox of choice06:09 3. The paradox of knowledge 06:52 The Dunning-Kruger Effect08:22 4. The paradox of failure 09:12 Not choosing is a choice (Jean-Paul Sartre)10:33 5. The paradox of tolerance (Karl Popper) 11:03 James Baldwin on agreeing to disagree 12:20 6. The paradox of moving on 12:46 Ironic process theory 14:19 7. The paradox of pleasure15:37 Aristotle's virtue-based happiness16:08 Viktor Frankl on happiness 17:07 The dopamine trap 18:03 8. The paradox of freedom18:33 Self-determination theory 20:02 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)20:52 9. The paradox of shadow sides (Carl Jung) 22:54 10. The paradox of the comfort zone 24:46 Lightning round recap MY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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27:16
8 Ways You’re Unknowingly Sabotaging Your Comeback Season
Getting back in the saddle? I love that for you. But here’s the truth: staying on track takes more than motivation. If you’ve been craving a fresh start but don't know where to start, this episode is for you. We’re breaking down 8 of the most common ways people sabotage their own progress—from relying too much on discipline to using self-hate as fuel. Whether you have a big dream or just want to get unstuck, you deserve to enter your next chapter with eyes wide open. Let’s talk about the philosophy and psychology of making a comeback stick. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:40 Eight ways to sabotage a comeback03:22 1. Believing you're behind06:19 2. Being apologetic about what you want07:18 You hold yourself back when you move in silence08:41 You're being judgmental when you assume people are judging you10:28 3. Underestimating the subconscious mind10:45 The neuroscience of manifestation12:46 Self-deprecation is manifesting too 14:37 4. Focusing only on your how & not your why14:47 Nietzsche's will to power15:20 Chasing superficial whys 17:14 5. Underestimating the power of small changes19:38 Results are a lagging measure of effort (James Clear) 21:30 6. Focusing on what you can't control21:55 Amor Fati: loving your fate (Nietzsche)23:22 PS: My book MAKE BELIEVE is out now 24:05 Stop feeling bad for yourself for not figuring it out sooner25:58 7. Waiting until you're ready to start26:30 Hiding in the planning phase 26:51 The confidence-competence loop27:50 8. Using self-hate as fuel 29:56 Lightning round recap30:56 Give yourself some creditEPISODE LINKSMichigan State Study on accountabilityMind Magic by Dr. James DotyStudy using fMRI showing impact of visualization on motor cortexThe Gay Science by Friedrich Nietzsche MY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Join me in Bali June 1-7! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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32:30
The Spiritual Implications of a Recession
The tariffs won’t just affect your wallet—they’ll also affect your soul. In this episode, we walk through 5 spiritual side effects of an economic downturn (per Abraham Maslow, Karl Marx, and Simone Weil). Then we’ll talk through 3 philosophically-rooted tips for tending to your soul during (yet another) unprecedented time. Are the people wearing milkmaid dresses to the club a recession indicator? What would Karl Marx think about you hating your coworkers who won’t stay late at the office? How can we prioritize spirituality at a time like this without being navel-gazey? Let’s talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 03:16 5 spiritual impacts of a recession03:45break06:39 1. Accessing spirituality gets harder 06:52 Maslow’s hierarchy of needs08:37 Simone Weil and Simone du Beauvoir clash 11:05 Everyone’s an existentialist until the rent is due12:31 2. Resurgence of traditional faith systems 12:39 Hemline index 13:36 Moral panics during recessions 13:52 Today: trad wives, homesteading and Catholic core14:28 The link between economic security & decline of religious affiliation 16:33 3. Disconnection from nature and each other 16:58 Karl Marx’s 1844 paper on alienation of labor 21:23 4. Escapism becomes more tempting than ever21:44 Lipstick index 22:40 TikTok restock videos as a recession indicator 23:10 Alcohol sales during recessions 23:54 TikTok shop dupe culture as a recession indicator 24:35 5. We’re ripe for spiritual expansion25:42 The god shaped hole (Pascal) 26:27 3 practical tips for spiritual health during a recession26:42 1. Other people are not your competition27:28 “Be kind to people and ruthless to systems” 27:40 2. Tactile hobbies and reconnecting with the fruits of our labor29:38 3. Spirituality during hard times is best served pragmatically and people-focused 31:58 Challenge: noticing me versus them moments MY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Join me in Bali June 1-7! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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34:12
5 Happiness Traps—and How to Break Free of Them
We all want to be happy—but so many of the ways we chase happiness actually leave us more disconnected, burnt out, or empty than before. In this episode, we’ll walk through five of the most common happiness traps: the things we do to feel better that often make us feel worse. Along the way, we’ll explore what Nietzsche, Marx, and modern Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek have to say about the pursuit of joy. Then, we’ll turn to one of the longest-running studies on happiness to ask the big question: when it comes to feeling good, what actually works? No one has the secret to happiness. But a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things that might help you feel better and access a little more joy. Let’s talk about it.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro01:18 Break03:22 5 happiness traps 03:27 1. Overconsumption 06:00 Overconsumption starts with scarcity programming07:11 Nietzsche & overconsumption as a way to fill the void 10:37 2. Chasing achievements 11:46 Slavoj Zizek and the duty to enjoy the grind13:26“Don’t be ridiculous, Andrea. Everyone wants this.”14:18 Superego injunction: “a million girls would kill to have this job”15:22 On using a lack of happiness as fuel to grind 15:56 3. Comparison 18:11 Downward social comparison 22:12 4. Self- and symptom-focused spiritual practices 22:55 Marx on how economic systems shape values 23:28 Self-centered spirituality in the West 24:41 Spirituality as a bandaid vs a root cause solution (Zizek)25:45 5. Isolation 27:03 The hyperindividualism crisis28:00 We owe each other stuff28:17 We want things from each other, and we should28:23 Harlow’s monkey study on attachment 30:13 We’re living in our own worlds31:28 So what DOES work? 31:57 Harvard happiness study 35:13 Challenge 36:19 Lightning round recapMY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Let’s hang on tour!!• Join me in Bali June 1-7! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
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40:04
On Walt Whitman & Making Hopeful Art at a Time Like This
I’m thinking of someone. Guess who? They’re a trailblazing artist. LGBTQ-adjacent. A Gemini from Long Island. An artist trying to make sense of rapid technological change and political division. No, not Lady Gaga. Not RuPaul. Not Frank Ocean. Think older. Centuries older. Today we’re talking about the great American poet, Walt Whitman.Walt Whitman was born in 1819, but his world feels eerily familiar. His New York was reeling from technological change and caught in a web of political division. Sound familiar? In this episode, we explore Whitman’s life—from his roots as a Brooklyn typesetter to his rise as the great American poet. We’ll unpack his most famous work, Leaves of Grass, and the ideas in it that scandalized entire towns. We’ll talk about the beauty of contradiction, the divinity of the mundane, and the radical interconnectedness of all things. We’ll ask: what does it mean to write about hope and unity at a Time Like This? If you’re questioning how your art (or your heart) fits into a collapsing society, this episode is for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:56 Life Update: Tour! USA Today Bestseller! Bali?05:32 Walt Whitman: a Long Island Gemini 06:03 1800s NY: Nationalism, populism, manifest destiny07:52 Sound familiar? 09:02 Walt Whitman’s early life10:11 Walt Whitman, the reluctant teacher11:05 Walt Whitman, the starving artist 12:27 Walt Whitman does a social media detox13:00 Walt Whitman emerges with a first draft13:14 Leaves of Grass: not like other girls 14:00 1855 Walt Whitman is giving Woodstock 14:14 Publication expert level: just like us 14:44 Walt Whitman gets left on read 14:48 Enter: Ralph Waldo Emerson15:54 Walt Whitman is his own cheerleader 17:47 Walt Whitman is as petty as the rest of us18:22 Leaves of Grass starts to get legs 18:41 Leaves of Grass gets smuttier 18:57 Walt Whitman is not an angel 21:02 The Civil War changes everything 22:21 Leaves of Grass, an OG banned book23:01 Walt Whitman’s legacy 24:03 Walt Whitman quotes that will change your brain chemistry24:18 1. “Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you”25:07 My ego nap25:59 2. “I am large, I contain multitudes” 26:39 The categorification of the human experience27:10 you are not a cottagecore coastal grandma clean girl mob wife u are a spiritual being having a human experience 28:48 3. “The smallest sprout shows there really is no death”31:09 4. “Do you guess I have some intricate purpose?” EPISODE LINKS• Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman• Stuff You Missed in History Class episode• Comedy by Bo Burnham• My Writer’s Digest article on writing about hopeMY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop• Let’s hang on tour!!• Join me in Bali June 1-7! • Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram • Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok
A self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological and literary flair hosted by Victoria Hutchins, the creator of @thedailyvictorian. Giving your soul something to chew on every Sunday.
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