How to Stop Normalizing Dangerous Behavior When Your Child Struggles With Addiction and Mental Health, with Dina Cannizzaro
EPISODE DESCRIPTION:If you've ever found yourself tiptoeing through your own home, rehearsing conversations to avoid triggering an explosion, or even putting a lock on your bedroom door for protection—you're not alone. Today's conversation with Dina Cannizzaro, Hopestream's Director of Education, confronts the uncomfortable reality so many parents face: how profoundly we normalize dangerous situations when our child struggles with substances.Dina brings battle-tested wisdom from parenting her son Parker through nine years of IV heroin use (now nine years sober) and coaching hundreds of families through similar chaos. She shares the exact phrases that helped her reclaim emotional safety, the incremental boundary-setting approach that actually works, and why maintaining your sanctuary matters more than keeping an artificial peace.This episode offers concrete strategies for those moments when you realize you're living in cognitive friction—simultaneously loving someone while feeling unsafe around them. Dina's approach alchemizes tough love into something more nuanced: fierce protection of the relationship itself, not just the person.You'll learn:The exact phrase to use when verbal abuse erupts (and why repetition matters)How to distinguish between privacy and safety when deciding about bedroom locksWhy leaving your home during conflict might signal defeat—and what to do insteadThe incremental boundary approach that builds your confidence from dishwasher disputes to dealbreakersWhy confiscating substances from your teen's room isn't overstepping (it's parenting)The difference between emotional safety and physical safety—and why you deserve bothHow to humble yourself without sacrificing dignity after heated exchangesAs always when we get to have Dina on the podcast, it's a note-taking worthy hour you do not want to miss.EPISODE RESOURCES:Episode 138 with Dina: Creating Conditions For ChangeThe Chinese Farmer Hopestream episode 173 with Dina CannizzaroPartnership to End Addiction - free resources for families This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
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Why Your Struggling Child Pushes You Away: The Attachment Connection, with Todd Sarner
ABOUT THE EPISODE:When a young person you love is struggling with substances or challenging behaviors, the instinct to fix everything can feel overwhelming. In this illuminating conversation, marriage and family therapist Todd Sarner brings decades of attachment science into sharp focus, and offers a roadmap for parents navigating the turbulent waters of adolescence. Drawing from his training with Dr. Gordon Neufeld and other attachment pioneers, Todd reveals why our kids' most hurtful behaviors often mask their deepest needs for connection. We explore the delicate dance between holding firm boundaries and maintaining compassion – what Todd beautifully describes as being both the "agent of futility" (clear limits) and the "angel of comfort" (empathy). We unpack why teenagers simultaneously push us away while desperately needing our presence, and how parents can invest in their own nervous systems to weather these storms.Perhaps most powerfully, Todd reminds us that attachment isn't about perfection – research shows secure relationships miss connection bids 50-60% of the time. It's about showing up consistently, even imperfectly, with the understanding that our love remains the most powerful intervention we have.You'll learn:Why sensitive kids often present as tough and disconnected – and how "defensive detachment" protects them from the pain of unmet connection needsThe critical difference between punishment and boundaries, and how to communicate limits while preserving relationshipHow to navigate the teenage paradox: their biological drive for independence colliding with their continued need for guidance and safetyPractical nervous system regulation techniques (including 4-7-8 breathing) that help parents stay grounded during explosive momentsWhy investing in your own self-care isn't selfish – it's essential preparation for holding space during your child's strugglesThe power of "bridging" – maintaining connection even through conflict, letting your child know that nothing can change your love for themEPISODE RESOURCES:Transformative Parenting websiteTodd’s InstagramThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
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Think Like A Negotiator When Your Child Misuses Substances, with Cathy Cioth
ABOUT THE EPISODE: In this episode Cathy and I discuss unique skills from the business world that can be applied to our relationships - especially one with a struggling teen or young adult who is misusing substances and has mental health challenges. I share a surprising learning I picked up from reading a book about hostage negotiation (you may even be able to relate to that kind of situation) and we dig into why it’s important for parents not to take your child’s actions and behaviors too personally. We tie this all into the CRAFT approach (of course) and I give a first hand account of how skills like SURF communication can be applied with anyone in your world, not just your struggling child.EPISODE RESOURCES: Never Split the Difference - negotiating as if your life depends on it, by Chris Voss This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
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Amber Hollingsworth: Put The Shovel Down When Your Kid Is Misusing Drugs and Alcohol
ABOUT THE EPISODE:If someone in your life has an unhealthy relationship with drugs and/or alcohol, you likely already know my guest for today’s episode - Amber Hollingsworth. Amber hosts the wildly popular YouTube channel, “Put The Shovel Down,” with nearly 1 million subscribers. Amber and I sat down to talk about her addiction-riddled family of origin, and the best advice she gives family members from her two-plus decades in the field of addiction counseling. We cover what to do if parents aren’t on the same page about their child’s substance use, her thoughts on how to navigate a child and a partner or spouse’s addiction at the same time, whether she believes in “rock bottom,” and so much more. Amber is a passionate and delightful human who clearly cares about anyone struggling with substances (and their family members) - as evidenced by her 1,000+ free YouTube videos that serve as a lifeline for so many in this difficult position. You’ll learn:How Amber got started in the field of addiction counseling with a group of teens and zero experienceWhere to start first if your child and spouse are both struggling with substancesWhy Amber believes in “moments of clarity” rather than “rock bottom”The difference between a parent’s punishment and the world’s consequencesEPISODE RESOURCES:Put The Shovel Down YouTube ChannelFamily Recovery Academy - Amber’s Organization, Hope For FamiliesThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
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What Parents of Struggling Kids Really Need, with Brenda Zane
ABOUT THE EPISODE: When your friend or family member has a child struggling with mental health and substance use, it can feel awkward and difficult to know how to help support them. This episode is meant to be a resource for learning ways that you can be helpful, not hurtful, when your friend or family member is experiencing a parenting crisis.I share some common misperceptions about addiction and substance use, talk about the latest science on motivation and change, and give real examples of what you can do to help. It’s a practical guide to give you ideas and new information about substance use, mental health and navigating the hardest parenting season. EPISODE RESOURCES: Understanding Youth Substance Use & Addiction: A Primer for Family Members - download hereDr. Anna Lembke on Hopestream episode 110This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.
Über Hopestream for parenting kids through drug use and addiction
Hopestream is the defacto resource for parents who have a teen or young adult child who's misusing drugs or alcohol, hosted by Brenda Zane. Brenda is a Mayo Clinic Certified health & wellness coach, CRAFT-trained Parent Coach, and mom of a son who nearly lost his life to addiction. Guests include addiction, prevention, and treatment experts, family members impacted by their loved one's substance use, and wellness and self-care specialists. You'll also hear heartfelt messages from me, your host. It's a safe, nurturing respite from the chaos and confusion you live with. We gather in our private communities between the episodes in The Stream community for moms. Learn more at www.hopestreamcommunity.org/the-stream/.
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