The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

Getting promoted because you're good at your job is the easy part. Most AuDHD professionals find out quickly that the role they were promoted into requires skills nobody taught them and nobody mentioned were part of the deal.
Brett sits down with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build systems, workflows, and leadership approaches that work for their brains at work and in life.
The conversation starts where a lot of AuDHD careers start to get complicated: outperforming everyone around you, getting promoted because of it, and then discovering that managing people is a completely different job than doing the work. Dr. Marshall introduces a Harvard Business Review leadership framework that describes this pattern specifically. From there they get into the unwritten rules most corporate environments run on, how warmth and competence function as the two factors that shape how you're perceived at work, and what happens when you're four steps ahead of the room and keep getting dismissed for it.
The conversation closes on a distinction worth understanding clearly: the difference between masking and code switching. Most people treat these as the same thing. They aren't, and the difference matters when you're trying to figure out where your energy is actually going.
This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 covers late diagnosis, burnout, and the decision of whether to disclose your diagnosis at work.
Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: 
Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Timestamps: 
00:00 Introduction
02:33 Technical skill vs. leadership skill
03:55 The Pacesetter Leadership Style
06:35 From expert to teacher
07:48 "Don't be too good at your job"
09:00 Unspoken corporate rules
11:59 Warmth and competence
12:42 The Cassandra Effect
15:03 Calibrating what you share at work
16:13 Masking vs. code switching
19:36 Companies and neurodivergent brains
20:56 Burnout and entrepreneurship

ABOUT AUDHD BOSS:AuDHD Boss is Brett Whitmarsh's channel covering ADHD and Autism in the workplace. Brett has over 12 years of leadership experience and a formal diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.Substack: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarshWebsite: https://audhdboss.com

Most neurodivergent employees don't know what accommodations they can ask for — and without that, the process stalls before it starts.
In this episode, I walk through the 10 most commonly requested AuDHD workplace accommodations according to Job Accommodation Network data, with the exact functional limitation language and scripting you can adapt for your own request. Each accommodation includes the framing the JAN recommends, plus real-world context from someone who spent over 12 years in corporate leadership — including as a VP — before their own late ADHD and autism diagnosis.
We cover quiet workspaces, noise-canceling headphones, remote work, written follow-up after verbal instructions, flexible scheduling, structured check-ins, structured breaks, advance notice of changes, assistive technology, and neurodiversity coaching through an EAP. For every one, you'll hear why it works and exactly how to say it.
Free resource: The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It is linked below. payhip.com/b/j0rvk

If you're neurodivergent and considering a workplace accommodation request, disclosure is probably the thing stopping you. Do you have to tell HR you're autistic or have ADHD? Who else finds out?
The answer is more nuanced than most people explain — and in this episode, I'm giving you the version that holds up, including the part most content on this topic gets wrong.
We cover the informal path (manager only, no HR, no paperwork) versus what actually happens once the formal process starts. What the ADA protects — and what it doesn't. And the practical call on who to approach first, with real context from someone who has been on the management side of this conversation.
Free resource: Download The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It at http://payhip.com/b/j0rvk

Topics: ADHD at work, autism at work, AuDHD, workplace accommodations, ADA accommodations, disability disclosure, how to request accommodations, neurodivergent employees, HR and disability, accommodation request process

In this episode, I’m talking about emotional flooding at work and what it feels like for me as someone with ADHD and autism. I share how misunderstanding, conflict, masking, and nervous system overload can affect my processing, my body, and the rest of my day. I also talk about what helps me move through it and why context and thoughtful communication matter so much at work.

Chapter:
00:00 What emotional flooding is for me
01:46 What happens in my body
03:32 Masking while overwhelmed
05:08 Why I need verbal processing
06:46 Spiraling and trying not to react
08:10 The crash afterward
08:58 When more context changes everything
10:43 Why this matters at work

Resources mentioned:

Substack: [link]

Coaching: [link]

Workbook: [link]

Caroline Maguire: [link]

Bridget’s post: [link]

Purity culture. High control religion. Autistic masking. In this episode, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) gets vulnerable about growing up in a fundamentalist evangelical environment—and how rigid rules and shame can stay in your body long after you’ve “left.”
Brett is late-diagnosed Autistic + ADHD, and in this conversation with author and educator Erica Smith, they explore why purity culture can feel especially “sticky” when you’re used to rule-following, people-pleasing, and masking for safety. Erica is the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve and founder of the Purity Culture Dropout Program—inclusive, trauma-informed education many of us never received.
In this episode we talk about:
What purity culture is (and how it became a movement)

How shame and fear shape relationships and identity

Why rigid rules can feel “safe”—and how to replace them with your values

What “deconstruction” means and how it can support healing

“Is it too late?” (No. Ever.)

Late coming-out, “second adolescence,” and reclaiming your timeline

How to talk to partners about your background without apologizing for it

Links & resources:
Erica Smith’s book (affiliate): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798881801304
Purity Culture Dropout Program: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program
More from AuDHD Boss: AuDHDboss.com
(For education and lived experience—not medical advice.)
00:00 Purity culture, high control religion & autistic masking
00:56 Leaving the church, carrying shame + rigid rules
01:47 Meet Erica Smith + The Purity Culture Recovery Guide
02:47 What purity culture is (broad + specific)
04:15 Why it took hold in the 90s (True Love Waits)
05:46 Reading recovery work when it feels activating
07:42 Skip to the chapters you need (how Erica designed the book)
10:10 Myths and misinformation purity culture taught
12:59 Long-term impacts: fear, paralysis, pain, disconnection
14:53 Autistic masking + rigid rule-following overlap
16:04 Replacing rules with your values
18:02 What “deconstruction” means
18:47 “Is it too late?”
21:27 Late coming-out + “second adolescence”
24:49 Why “waiting for marriage” still has a hold
28:02 Talking to partners without apologizing
30:18 Final thoughts + where to find Erica