On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Have you ever pushed away the love you wanted most or clung to it so tightly that you lost yourself in the process?
Jay sits down with Attachment Style expert and creator of the Integrated Attachment Theory Thais Gibson to unpack one of the most powerful forces shaping our relationships. Together, they explore how our earliest emotional experiences quietly shape the way we love, communicate, and respond to conflict later in adulthood. Thais explains how anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant patterns aren’t flaws or labels that define us, but protective mechanisms we once needed to feel safe.
Jay and Thais dive into the subtle ways attachment wounds show up in dating and long-term relationships, from overthinking a delayed text, to fearing commitment when things start to get too serious. Thais shares practical tools for recognizing your subconscious needs, reprogramming limiting beliefs, and communicating in ways that build security instead of sabotaging connection. Jay highlights how healing isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about understanding why you are the way you are, and consciously choosing new patterns that align with the love you truly desire. They emphasize that compatibility alone isn’t enough; emotional safety, self-awareness, and the willingness to grow are what sustain meaningful connection.
This is a reminder that love is not just about finding the right person, it’s about becoming the safest, most secure version of yourself. When we learn to meet our own unmet needs, we stop outsourcing our worth and start building relationships rooted in clarity, compassion, and conscious choice.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Identify Your Attachment Style
How to Stop Overthinking in Relationships
How to Communicate Your Emotional Needs Clearly
How to Reprogram Limiting Love Beliefs
How to Build Emotional Safety with a Partner
How to Respond Instead of React to Triggers
How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Abandonment
Awareness is the turning point. The moment you begin to notice your triggers without judging them, communicate your needs without apologizing for them, and choose growth over fear, that’s the moment your relationships begin to change.
Interested in learning more about your own Attachment style, take the Attachment Style Quiz here: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz?utm_source=pr-js&utm_medium=public_relations&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_content=new-attachment-theory
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
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Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:25 Understanding Your Attachment Style
17:13 How to Date with Self-Awareness
20:26 Healing Your Core Wounds
28:50 Can Insecure Attachment Build a Healthy Relationship?
30:05 The Five Pillars of Emotional Healing
32:10 Pillar One: Reprogramming Core Beliefs
34:29 Pillar Two: Practicing Self-Validation
38:37 Pillar Three: Regulating the Nervous System
43:50 Pillar Four: Conscious Communication
53:08 Pillar Five: Creating Healthy Boundaries
50:09 Are Your Needs Realistic or Trauma-Driven?
57:16 The 90-Day Reprogramming Process
59:09 When One Partner Resists Self-Work
01:02:18 How Do You Move Forward With an Unwilling Partner?
01:04:10 The Psychology of Love Bombing
01:05:12 How Do You Set Boundaries With a Narcissist?
01:09:04 Why Anxious and Secure Dynamics Can Struggle
01:10:52 When Power Struggles Begin
01:17:53 Are You Just Scared or Is It a True Mismatch?
01:20:58 When is it Time to Break Up?
01:25:27 Do You Ever Truly Move On?
01:27:17 No One Is Ever 100% Ready
01:31:27 The Invaluable Lessons Hidden in Hard Times
01:34:51 This or That: Relationship Edition
01:39:44 Thais on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | http://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast/all-access-pass
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson
The Thais Gibson Podcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The real hardship of our time isn’t only the challenges we face, it’s that we rarely slow down enough to fully experience and process them.
Jay is joined by bestselling author and journalist Michael Pollan for a deeply thoughtful exploration of consciousness, attention, and what it truly means to be present. Known for reshaping how we think about food, nature, and the human mind, Michael shares why his work always begins with curiosity rather than certainty. Together, they unpack how perception shapes reality and why the most important questions in life aren’t meant to be solved quickly, but held with patience.
Jay and Michael dive into how modern life pulls us away from awareness, leaving many of us distracted, overstimulated, and disconnected from ourselves. Drawing from research on meditation, neuroscience, and psychedelic therapy, Michael explains how rigid thought patterns, rumination, and ego-driven narratives can keep us stuck. They discuss how practices that quiet the mind don’t erase our identity, but soften it, creating space for clarity, creativity, and deeper connection with the world around us.
In this invterview, you'll learn:
How to Stop Living on Autopilot
How to Train Your Attention in a Distracted World
How to Use Curiosity Instead of Certainty
How to Break Free from Mental Rumination
How to Quiet the Ego Without Losing Yourself
How to Interrupt Stuck Thought Patterns
Awareness isn’t something you have to earn or master, it’s something you already possess. Small moments of attention, pausing before reacting, listening more deeply, and learning to sit with your thoughts, can quietly reshape how you experience life.
Michael Pollan’s A World Appears is a sweeping exploration of consciousness, what it is, who has it, and what it reveals about the essence of being human. Get your copy here: https://michaelpollan.com/books/a-world-appears/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:32 Why Great Thinkers Start With Questions
02:32 Is There Such a Thing as a Bad Question?
05:53 What is Consciousness?
07:55 Why Consciousness Matters in Daily Life
12:54 What Happens When You Put Your Phone Down
14:05 Building a Daily Meditation Practice
16:05 When Consciousness Transcends the Self
19:47 Is Everything Conscious?
25:46 What’s the Difference between the Mind and Consciousness?
31:16 Meditation and Psychedelics: The Overlap
33:36 Using Psychedelics With Intention
35:30 Is the Brain Creating Reality?
41:09 Breaking OCD Thought Loops
44:24 The Real Risks of Psychedelics
49:04 Why Psychedelics Can Help Break Addiction
51:23 How Altered States Change Our Fear of Death
53:54 Do Near-Death Experiences Change Science?
57:21 Redefining Consciousness in the AI Age
01:02:41 What Our Need for Constant Validation Says About Society
01:05:06 What Makes Humans Different From Machines
01:10:38 Why Asking Better Questions Matters
01:12:17 Michael on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Website | https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher/
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXjnpu6lK0HoUyOMh2ZBwhQ
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/justaskjefferson/
X | https://x.com/jefferson_fishr
LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Manifesting love isn’t about attracting the right person, it’s about being ready for the love you’re asking for.
Today, Jay challenges the way people have been told to manifest love. Rather than focusing on affirmations, visualization, or waiting for the perfect person to arrive, Jay reframes manifesting as an internal process of alignment. He explains that love doesn’t appear simply because someone wants it badly enough, it shows up when beliefs, emotional availability, habits, and identity are aligned to support a healthy relationship.
Drawing from psychology and attachment theory, Jay explains why chemistry alone can often be misleading. He unpacks how feeling emotionally safe, knowing your worth, and staying grounded shape attraction far more than intensity or butterflies ever could. When chaos feels exciting and calm feels unfamiliar, Jay explains, it’s often because the nervous system is drawn to what feels familiar, not what is healthy. Jay shares that Manifesting love actually means learning to choose consistency alongside chemistry, clarity over confusion, and emotional availability over emotional pursuit without lowering standards or losing self-respect.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to Manifest Love Without Chasing It
How to Become Emotionally Available for the Right Relationship
How to Regulate Your Nervous System Before Dating
How to Stop Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns
How to Create Environments Where Love Can Find You
How to Make Space for Love to Stay
Trust that the work you’re doing matters. Love grows when you do. And when your life finally has room for it, love won’t feel confusing or exhausting, it will feel safe, steady, and real.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:02 Attract the Relationship That Matches Your Growth
02:29 Principle #1: Emotional Availability
05:53 Principle #2: Identity Shapes Attraction
09:26 Principle #3: Proximity and Probability
12:04 Principle #4: Nervous System Compatibility
15:57 Principle #5: Standards Versus Defenses
20:00 Four Things to Focus on to Manifest Love
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We often think change will make sense once we get to the other side, but what if the real work of change is learning how to stay present in the uncertainty itself?
Today, Jay sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar to explore why unexpected change feels so threatening, and why losing what we thought our life would look like can feel like losing ourselves. From a career-ending injury early in her life to deeply personal losses later on, Maya reflects on how life’s unexpected turns can quietly reshape how we see ourselves, our worth, and our place in the world.
Maya explains that one of the biggest mistakes we make during change is tying our self-worth to roles, titles, or outcomes. When those fall away, it can feel deeply destabilizing. Instead, she invites us to root our identity in something more stable: our “why.” The deeper reasons behind what we love—connection, service, growth, creativity. When we stay connected to those, we can move through change without losing ourselves. Jay reflects on how often we seek external validation and why redefining success during loss is essential for resilience.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Handle Change You Didn’t Choose
How to Anchor Your Self-Worth Beyond External Success
How to Find Your “Why” When Life Falls Apart
How to Rebuild Yourself After a Dream Ends
How to Grow into the Person Change Is Shaping You To Be
If you’re going through a season of change right now, remember this: you’re not broken for struggling with it. Change is meant to shake us, to slow us down, and to make us question who we are beyond our titles, plans, and expectations.
A quietly powerful read about resilience and reinvention by Maya Shankar, The Other Side of Change invites you to meet yourself again when life takes an unexpected turn - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/729180/the-other-side-of-change-by-maya-shankar/
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX
Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:11 How Change Has Shaped Your Life
04:52 Why Does Change Feel So Scary?
11:45 Why We Tie Our Identity to What We Do
16:25 What Awaits on the Other Side of Change
24:47 Using Self-Affirmation to Stay Grounded
30:51 Finding Gratitude in Who You Become
39:31 Maya on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Maya Shankar | https://mayashankar.com/
Maya Shankar | https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar
Maya Shankar | https://x.com/slightchangepod
A Slight Change of Plans | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why do we chase people who don’t choose us, confuse anxiety for attraction, and stay in relationships that leave us questioning our worth?
Today, Jay sits down with Sabrina Zohar, podcast host and one of the most influential voices in modern dating, to unpack the emotional patterns that quietly shape how we love. Drawing from her own healing journey and work with thousands of clients, Sabrina explains how our childhood experiences, nervous system responses, and unhealed wounds influence who we’re drawn to often without us realizing it.
Together, Jay and Sabrina explore what emotional availability really looks like, why consistency matters more than intensity, and how boundaries aren’t about pushing people away but protecting your peace. They break down common dating traps, from overanalyzing texts to mistaking butterflies for chemistry, and reveal why self-advocacy is one of the most important relationship skills we’re never taught. Through practical insights and deeply personal stories, Sabrina shows why asking for what you need isn’t “too much,” and why love should feel safe, not confusing.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Choose You
How to Date Without Abandoning Yourself
How to Set Boundaries Without Fear of Losing Someone
How to Recognize Emotional Availability Early
How to Break the Cycle of Situationships
How to Ask for What You Need Without Feeling “Too Much”
How to Stop Confusing Intensity for Intimacy
You don’t need to chase clarity, overperform for love, or silence your needs to be chosen. Real connection begins when you feel safe enough to be honest, brave enough to set boundaries, and grounded enough to walk away from what doesn’t honor you.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here.
Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:01 How to Tell If Someone Is Truly Interested
02:52 Why You Date the Parts of You That Aren’t Healed
06:04 Understanding Your Emotional State Before You Date
07:59 Don’t Ignore These Red Flags!
10:33 What Should a Healthy, Secure Relationship Feel Like?
13:34 Why Slowing Down Creates Real Connection
20:07 What’s Really Draining You About Dating?
24:09 Your Partner Will Trigger You, That’s Okay!
29:03 Building a Strong Foundation for Dating
32:45 How to Advocate for Yourself Without Fear of Losing Them
39:20 Are You Feeling Alone?
42:03 How to Spot Emotional Unavailability Early
44:51 Why Boundaries Are Non-Negotiable
46:56 How to Be Honest About Your Feelings
50:20 How to Communicate Your Needs Clearly
54:52 Why Relationships Must Support Growth
56:57 Timing Is Not a Reason to Hold On
59:23 Texting Etiquette in Modern Dating
01:12:33 Why Real Change Takes Time and Practice
01:18:36 Dating Rapid Fire
Episode Resources:
Website | https://www.sabrinazohar.com/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar
TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/p/The-Sabrina-Zohar-Show-100094409286590/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.