Relationship Advice

Window of Tolerance helps explain why one partner often wants to keep talking while the other shuts down, speeds up, or feels totally overwhelmed.  In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous systems have different thresholds, what it looks like to be inside vs. outside your window, and why both partners are usually dysregulated in conflict—just in opposite ways. You’ll learn how to notice your own cues, call a break before things boil over, and use this language to create more safety, empathy, and connection in day-to-day life together. Main Talking Points: • What “window” means • Different dysregulation styles • Signs you’re in-window • Using body-based cues • Taking breaks wisely • Expanding your window Check out Relationship Academy! Cozy Earth⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠Beducate⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠AG1 - ⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠Simple Practice⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠Skylight⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026 Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026 Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 Get $100 off Spark My Relationship 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December. Main Talking Points: • Milestones as reset • Why resolutions fail • Values over goals • Couples intention talks • Season-of-life reality • Gentle self-compassion Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we break down the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic and why partners so often misunderstand each other during conflict. We explore how our nervous systems, personal histories, and internal stories shape the meaning we make of our partner’s behavior. By slowing down and getting curious, couples can interrupt the cycle and create more connection instead of escalating disconnection. Main Talking Points • Pursuer vs. withdrawer • Meaning-making stories • Nervous system responses • Projection in conflict • Windows of tolerance • Curiosity over certainty Check Out Relationship Academy Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN This episode explores the subtle but important difference between caring for someone and caretaking for them — and why crossing that line can create resentment, burnout, or dependency in relationships. The hosts break down how good intentions can accidentally enable unhealthy patterns, block growth, or strip someone of their autonomy. They also share practical examples, scripts, and mindset shifts to help you support the people you love without taking over their life or their discomfort. Caring vs. caretaking Enabling patterns Emotional discomfort Interdependence balance Healthy boundaries Comfort scripts Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Main Talking PointsIf you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices